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Spam messages 54-52 deleted by QuickTopic between 03-28-2012 02:04 AM and 12-11-2011 02:03 AM |
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xxc
11-23-2011
12:22 PM ET (US)
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Spam deleted by QuickTopic 12-11-2011 02:03 AM
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nihaoqqq2001  06-27-2011
05:45 AM ET (US)
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07-13-2010
05:30 AM ET (US)
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06-13-2010
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Deleted by topic administrator 05-16-2008 08:08 AM
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Bookninja 01-09-2006
10:00 AM ET (US)
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Why don't men read relation-advice books?
BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! O GOD, THAT'S RICH! HAHAHA HAHAHAHAAHAAAAA! Wooo! Let me catch my breath...! Hang on... Hee hee... Hee... Okay, seriously.... you see, the problem here is that men... BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! I CAN'T DO IT! HAHAHAHAAAAH HAAAA!
Home
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Z
10-23-2003
02:32 PM ET (US)
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Alex Good on Spitfire, Marchand, and the popularization of the canon:
http://www.goodreports.net/news.htm
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The Fat Kid
10-23-2003
03:07 AM ET (US)
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Claude, how'd you get so smart eating bagels and poutine?
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Claude Hoddam-Boullejalka
10-22-2003
01:45 AM ET (US)
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Janine, that’s an interesting question. Should we raise our "sons" differently than boys were raised in the past? I think my parents did a terrific job bringing me up and teaching me to be a decent human being. I wouldn't change a thing from their example; I only hope to do as well with my own son.
Madeleine, you’re working in a living laboratory for observing gender-role indoctrination. Children learn as much or more about role expectations from socialization as they do from watching their parents. The tacit messages sent to boys to not express themselves create, in many cases, time bombs of repressed feelings.
What you mentioned about men feeling stress during the Depression is a good example of how the burden of responsibility combined with circumstantial failure can shatter the ego. I think far too much is made about “the fear of feeling emasculated.” Literally, the fear of having one’s genitals mutilated is certainly a rational fear, but figuratively, it’s become part of the rhetoric around these “role” issues, and I wish we could extract the idea to an extent. It’s a bit too cut-and-dry Freudian for my way of thinking.
Men (or women) who feel the pressure of providing for a family, for example, certainly have anxieties about failure. It isn’t necessarily about feeling male or female. It’s about feeling responsible. Failure, for both sexes, brings with it feelings of shame, helplessness, and worthlessness. It’s not really tied in with gender, though men and women may experience and express these feelings, more or less, in different ways.
On top of that, there are all the anxieties people feel about being wanted, needed, accepted, and valued. If messages are being sent to one group, saying, “Believe in yourself. You can do anything you want to do. You’re special. Stand tall and be proud,” then that group will, on the whole, respond favourably to these messages. If, on the other hand, another group of people is faced with messages that say, “It’s your fault. You’ve been wrong. You’ve held others back. You do not deserve what you have,” or worse yet, no messages at all, complete ambivalence, that group will likely feel, in general, unwanted, unaccepted, and undervalued.
For many men, I don’t think new gender roles are a threat to their masculinity, but the negative messages about masculinity prevalent in the discourse about these roles are a threat to their feelings of validation as people.
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