Hi Kitty,

What a sad story and such a young cat. I feel for you. It is dangerous for a kitty outside, but I also know how much mine hates to be cooped up inside. There is not a moment's peace in this house if the cat can't go out, and every time I let him out, my heart goes into my throat because I know one of these days he might not come back. But he wants it so very much. I've finally come to the place of thinking that although his life might be shorter going outside, it will be a happier life for him.

We can never completely protect those we love from harm, so please take the guilt off your plate. It's hard enough as it is. Every creature has free will and, like with my cat, it's always a balance between safety and freedom.

I know the Hong Kong culture is very different regarding pets than it is here in the US, so I feel for you not finding someone who can understand how much it hurts. You won't ever forget John. Every animal is unique and special in their own way. I believe they live on because of the love we share. The Bible says that God is love, so whatever is established in love is eternal. As Paul says in 1 Cor. 13: "Love never ends." John is still with you, but I know how much it hurts not to have him there in the flesh.

Two weeks is not a long time. If you still can't get beyond the loss in two months time (and by "beyond" I mean the rawness of the grief. You will always miss him in some way) then you might want to consider seeing somebody. Our losses and our loves get all tangled up together and sometimes we can't get past one thing because what we're really mourning is something else entirely. Losing a beloved pet is hard enough, but it often reminds us of other losses in our lives, making the grief more intense. Sometimes it's an actual death we mourn, sometimes the loss or absence of other things.

But it is still early. Hang in there. Many here know exactly what you're going through and feel for you. Even Jesus wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. It will feel bad for awhile. Try lighting a candle in a quiet place for John, talk to him and tell him how you feel. He will be there through God's love.

Anne