Hi everyone. I have been grieving the loss of my darling Nikki, a shelty mix, since Monday (5/14). She was 18 and has been with me most of my adult life. I'm like all of you - especially Lisa - I am having a hard time. It's only been two full days and I am feeling better and trying to cope by talking and remembering her great attributes. She was an incredible dog, but now the house is empty...no other pets. Anyway, my heart is broken and I just sobe at night when I get home from work. My kids actually comfort me! My husband and I got her when we were dating. She saw us through marriage and two kids - 16 years!!! I love her and my biggest hurtle right now is guilt. I didn't change her water enough....I wasn't patient enough with her...I didn't give her enough attention...I let her suffer too long....I just feel SO GUILTY. I didn't realize how important she was to my routine...Last night as I was coming up the stairs from getting something in the basement freezer, I realized that she always stood at the top waiting for me to come back. And, when I reached about the 4th stair from the top, I would bend down, eye level with her and kiss her little forehead....I couldn't do that yesterday....I'm just sick to my stomach! And, every time we left the house, I would tell her good-by and reassure her that we would see her later....I told her that yesterday, even though she wasn't there. Being home has been the hardest for me. :(

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! Molly was very lucky to have you and your husband who cared for her so deeply! She's also lucky to have passed right there with you! I have also felt the sadness of losing one's pet. My baby girl, Percious, was 18 when I had to put her down. She had two seizures in front of me and was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. It took me more than a year to not cry almost everyday about losing her. I take comfort in the fact that she's no longer suffering. Keep mourning, it helps! Eventually you will remember mostly the good times and not feel as much of the sadness!
My heart goes out to you! Take care and wait for the Rainbow Bridge! Sheri

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I am having trouble getting over the loss of my Molly. She passed away at home in my arms on October 7, 2006. She was diagnosed with IMHA in June 2006. I came home from work one night, and she didn't greet me in her usual happy, way that day. She layed on the floor breathing heavy and looking terrible. When I reached down to pet her, I noticed she was covered in diarreah. I immediately rushed her to my local vet, who said her blood count was too low to measure. I was told to rush her to the University of Penn Vet Hospital, immediately, or she wouldn't survive the night. They carried her to my car, and I rushed her to the hospital in the middle of a thunder storm. The hospital admitted her immediately, and quickly gave her a blood transfusion. I layed on the floor of the emergency room all night next to my dog, Molly. They admitted her for 10 days. She was released with medications that were supposed to save her. The best Animal Hospital in the country was going to save her life. They asked me if she ate "onions or perhaps money... change, like penny's" lately. NO! She didn't! In the three months that followed her initial diagnosis, she developed severe staph infections of the skin, lost all her hair, was diagnosed with dozens of other infections, in and out of the hospital every week for three months. I did everything I could for her. I loved her. I cryed non stop, and prayed every day she would beat this and recover. She continued to get sicker and sicker. My husband and I sat down and talked about putting her down. We decided not to. We had already spent close to $15,000 dollars in hospital, vet, and medications. and were willing to spend more to get her well. She was only 5 years old, and she was our baby. We loved her as if she were our child. The next day, she wouldn't eat. She wouldn't take her medications. Everyone in the family went out to dinner, except me that night. After everyone was gone, it was just me and Molly. I layed down next to her on the floor and hugged her. She looked up at me, and smiled, I swear, she took one last breath, and died peacefully in my arms. I can still hear myself scream! I can still feel her breath on my face. I can't get over it... It's been almost 7 months. I still miss her every day. I adopted a new dog, Lady from an animal rescue group, and I love her with all my heart. She's wonderful, and we all love her. But I still cry over Molly. I miss her. I know I did everything I could to help her. She was my baby. My first. I'll miss her forever. IMHA took away my little furry baby, my life savings, and a piece of my heart.
IMHA is a dog lovers worst nightmare. I never heard of it before Molly came down with it. She didn't have any recent vacinations, she didn't drink dirty water, she was a Collie - Not one of the common breeds that are likely to develop IMHA. She was running around, happy go lucky one day.. and the next she was gone.
I'm still unable to accept that there is no cure, no preventable measures I could have taken, and no reason she got it. She should still be here with us. I miss her so much.


Vici

Denial! Boy I can relate! My Precious had for a long time had a very loud "meow" once in a while and I always just thought she was
complaining about something relative to the time. I now know that she was probably complaining of her enlarged heart. I don't know for sure how many seizures she had, I only witnessed 2, but with 20/20 I know now I probably should have made that decision sooner! I just wanted to keep her forever!
Anyway, good luck! Keep loving your pets!
Sheri

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Thank you all for your kind words! This helps me alot! We will always have our Chumpy in our hearts. Every morning I talk to him and say "Chumpy, please forgive me and I know you are in a better place now" We took pictures of him a day before we had to let him go and looking at those pictures last night, made us both realize how sick he was, I guess we were in denial of letting him go, but now we must just remember that we always wanted the best for him. It's just so hard, so hard!! We have 2 other dogs of our own and it's not the same with them, but I know it's not there fault, but I almost feel guilty also of giving them love, knowing that I'm still mourning Chumpy's lost, it's like I feel I have to let enough time go by before I can get back to the way we were. Do you know what I mean? I tell my husband we can't be like that with our other dogs, it's not there fault and we must live in the moment, but it's hard! thank you everyone!

I feel for you! I had to make that same horrible decision for my 18 year old, Precious. She had an enlarged heart and although I could give her meds, when I was late once, she had a seizure and I believe now that she was in pain. It's not the amount of life they have or had, it's the quality and CHumpy obviously had a top quality life. You ended the suffering and only goodness is left. I believe our beloved pets are waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge. Keep grieving, it's the only way to get through it.
God bless!
Sheri
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John and Lisa,

I absolutely believe that our pets remain connected to us in love even after their bodily passing. So, by all means, say to Chumpy what is on your heart and know that from his perspective now he has full understanding of your love and care for him. Would a loving God not allow that? I believe it is so.

May God bless and comfort you in this difficult time of loss.

We lost our beloved pet, Chumpy on Saturday, Apr. 21, 2007. It was the hardest decision my husband and I made! We miss him so much. He was going to be 14 this Thursday, April 26, 2007. We was very sick hadn't been able to walk for the last past 7 months, but yet we made everything possible to keep in alive. I wish we could have him back!Back the way he use to be, walking and running around. I just want to know if he knows how much we loved him and how much we miss him! Sometimes we think, was that the right thing we did, was it time to let him go?? Then, I answer myself and say "yes, that was no life for him" I don't want to feel guilty anymore of letting him go,but I want to say I Love you one more time!!

We miss you always Chumpy! We love you!!

John & Lisa:)

Hi Pam,

I'm so sorry to hear about Buddy! I'm not a child psychologist, but I'm guessing that there would be different levels of understanding and response in the different ages of your children. I lean toward agreeing with Sheri that they should see him. Especially if they were very attached to Buddy, it will be hard to believe. One of the things I learned in seminary about human deaths and funerals is that one of the purposes of a wake or viewing is to reinforce that the person is truly gone. It helps us move toward seeing the death as a fact we have to accept somehow, someway, even though it seems unthinkable at the time. But I wouldn't force them to see him if they don't want to.

As an aside, make sure Tiger and any other animals in the house have seen Buddy. It helps their grief as well.

I also learned that the purpose of ritual is to help us approach the unapproachable. Having a little funeral for Buddy this evening could be a help. Maybe each person tells a story about Buddy and lays one of his toys or collars on a pile. Say a prayer of thanks for the time you had with Buddy and for God's continued care for him and for you. Light a candle to show that his spirit still lives. Dig a hole in the yard and bury him together. Sadness and crying is beautiful and normal at such a time. This can be an important lesson for them in handling grief and learning to approach death as part of life.

I would advise taking the children aside when they get home from school and tell them what happened. Ask them if they would like to see Buddy one last time. You might need to give them some time to absorb the information, ask questions, and think about whether they want to see him. Then, later this evening, have a little funeral service and put him in the ground. Maybe during the week you could talk about what sort of marker to place on his grave. If you don't have a yard where that is possible, call your vet and ask what to do.

I'm so sorry for your loss. If you come back and post what you end up doing and what has been helpful for your family, I'm sure others would greatly benefit.

Blessings on you and your family in this difficult time,
Anne

I don't have advice but I have lost a kitty, Precious! She had an enlarged heart and when I knew there was nothing more I could do, I scooped her up and took her to the vet with my oldest who was 10. He watched as they injected to lethal dose...it made me sad the way my son crouched to watch her go, but I think it helped him. I do not see why they couldn't see the kitty, but not seeing the kitty would be less tearshed. The vision might stay with them! Not sure what's best! I'm very sorry for your sudden lost. I suppose this is life's opportunity to teach and learn about death and how living does go on!!!
Good luck and God bless!
Sheri

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Our cat, Buddy, died suddenly and unexpectedly this morning. My husband and I were awakened by a loud gutteral moaning. My husband found Buddy lying in the kid's bathroom motionless. He carried him downstairs and Buddy made one more moan and he was gone. We did not tell our three children, ages 15, 12, and 7, and sent them off to school. We wrapped Buddy in a towel and placed him in our garage. We decided to tell our children after school today. They have never experienced the death of a pet and I don't know what to tell them or if they should see him, etc. Does anyone have any advice? Buddy was 8 and has a twin, Tiger.

I wasn't sure if were able to post web addresses here. Here is the one I described below, if you are interested: www.AnimalClergy.com.

Yours in peace and furry friendship,
Chaplain Nancy

Hi,

I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Chaplain Nancy Cronk. I am interested in meeting other people who are interested in Animal Chaplaincy and Animal Ministry. If you are not sure what those are, please stop by my website called Animal Clergy dot com. Anyone out there interested in what I am? Thanks so much, Nancy Cronk

I think they DO know that you love them, just as you know that they love you!!!
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Pray!
:)

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During my Jet's illness, I was supposed to put him on wet/gravy food. Its a shock that I gave him Western Family gravy meals, and I even shared the cans with the other two just to be fair. I recall Jet vomiting and his son vomited at least 3 or more days 2 times at once. My vets were all so swamped by the extreme emergencies during Feb and March which they could not fathom. Now the secret is out, the animals had tainted food. I don't know how anyone else feels but my dogs were affected but I never kept those cans.

Re: My love Jet, Fieldancer's But I'm A Hunter (Int. Cnd. Champ. Black Flat-coated Retriever April 04-200 to March 09, 2007)

Just like the other family here, I also could not be with my loving friend Jet as he lay there, sick and on morphine, and the injection came. I do not believe in tacking life. I certainly feel guilty to the nth degree that I could not take him home, and keep trying. Inside I am not convinced that he would have rallied the next day. He had done it. I lay beside him on the floor at the Vet's for 4 hours, talking, singing, loving him. Not willing to let him die. I could not tell him that this was his last day. How do you tell the very loving, and trusting pet that today, I think its time. A few think an animal should pass on their own time, and I beleive this. I loved Jet, I really hurt that he is gone. I have two other dogs, Riley (9) and Kobi (1.5). Kobi is his purebred puppy, but so different than Jet.

I wish I could know for certain that Jet knows I love him. I truly wish that I could get over the image of him looking for me, and wondering where I went and missing me. That would be Jet. I want Jet to know, don't worry baby, I am also looking for you, any sign that means that you are okay. I hate being so selfish & I wish I could go and bring you home.

I feel so sad, hurt, lonely and guilty.

Mommy lovs You Jet.