Many of you come to this site because you are grieving the loss of a companion animal. Others of you are simply animal lovers. Some of you have posted stories about your animals to my guestbook and others of you have e-mailed me. This discussion is one more place where you might like to record stories or memories about the animals you love.

An e-mail sent to me:

Dear Pastor:
   Thank you so much for your message, but at the end you left the decision to embrace the idea of pets in heaven to the reader. My wife and I recently lost our beloved cat Henry. Henry is my son in Christ and we love him dearly. He was an abused animal. We adopted him since no one wanted to adopt him. He had feline leukemia. Our vet felt that we were the best candidate to have him as a pet or else she will have to put him down. I prayed about my decision to adopt Henry and God laid it in my heart to take him home. After two months, he contracted lymphoma. Once again we prayed and God provided the answer; chemotherapy. Weekly my wife and I traveled 180 miles to take him for treatment. Believing that God is healing him, we continued to pray for him and he did, but later on down the road he took a turn for the worst. My wife and I prayed ferverently for God to heal him. By the way, we work with abused animals. We have 6 dogs and two cats. Both of our cats have feline leukemia and are undergoing chemotherapy. But, unfortunately, Henry passed away on June 3rd at 2:30 am. We were with him. My wife and I cried till the next day. We cremated Henry the next day and have his ashes at home. When I die, he will be cremated with me. I am a believer and love the Lord with all of my heart, so does my wife. We feel called to help and minister to the animals. But via our pets we have been able to reach a number of people. My pets are my children. Wesley hoped to see his horse in heaven, so why wouldn't a God who loves us and gave us his son would refuse to resurrect our pets? If we love and miss our pets on earth, wouldn't we love and miss our pets in heaven? God promised to wipe away all sorrow, pain and tears in heaven? Thus, how will he wipe away our pain for the lack of the presence of our pets in heaven? Thus, I believe, my God will resurrect my pets? Why would he give me and my wife a heart to rescue abused pets if this has no eternal significance? C.S.Lewis stated the following: " If anything is not eternal, it is useless", therefore, if this is so, loving our pets is a useless effort if it has no eternal significance! I hope you will consider publishing this email. I have prayed about this issue and I am convinced that God loves his creatures, big and small. Henry's passing has brought me closer to God, I am not angry with God for taking him away, but thank the Lord for the short period of time he has been with us. Just like your dog Grace who taught you to cherish each day, Henry taught me to trust the Lord even though my heart was broken into a hundred pieces when I found out he was fading away. Till the very end, we trusted the Lord to heal him and he did; an eternal healing. I will carry the love of my son Henry and the rest of the 5 girls and two boys with me, all of my life, even into eternity. God has blessed me and my wife richly with all of our pets. Praise be to God our Father.
 
May the Lord bless you and your ministry.
 
Michael and Marilee Ganesan

It occurred to me that if there isn't a heaven, then why do we love?

Absolutely. In some sense I think we can say that love IS heaven. Not that there isn't some other place, but our feeling of love is the foretaste and promise we have of a place where love reigns.

God is love. That is the foundation of everything I believe...even on days when God seems as fickle as some of the men I have dated!! Love on earth, either with people or with other parts of God's creation, is a dim mirror of heavenly life. I believe that bond is eternal and will be shared forever in the full light and love of God's heaven.

ALL life is sacred, because it derives from the same source, the Creator. Every life is a manifestation in this world of the Creator's Love, which as Anne says, IS the basic fabric of existence. So the life of a fly, a cockroach, a snake or a house pet is just as dear as your life in the Creator's eyes. We have been given extra abilities mentally to plan, choose, etc. This makes our recognition of the sacredness of all life all the more important. There are times we have to take the life of another species (say, a mosquito). But when doing so you must honor it for having been here and having contributed to the fullness of this Earth, this Life. And if you do not feel horrified when seeing a dead squirrel, skunk or raccoon lying in the road, you have not yet reached the fullness with the Creator's vision of Oneness. But with Anne's love and that of your faith friends, you will..you must. My deepest healing prayers go out to all who have lost their wonderful friends, beit a dog, cat, turtle or goldfish. And my deepest thanks to our pastor, who shares her honest and unfickle love with all of us.

SpiritSong, thank you for putting it so well. :)

I'm still grieving the loss of our precious little girl. She was only 3 years old and so full of life when she was suddenly taken from us. I'm searching websites to find resources to help ease this emptiness inside and found this site to be comforting. Reading these previous messages has helped -- thank you.

Donna, I'm glad you were able to find some comfort on my site. It sounds from your post like you lost not a pet but a daughter. In my experience with those in grief, the loss of a child is the toughest loss there is. If that is the case, please drop me a line at anne@annerobertson.com. I have another resource that might be of help to you.

I'm sorry for the confusion. Thankfully, we did not lose a daughter but Persephone (our bulldog) was much like a daughter to us in that she was a real part of our family. She was playful, opinionated, at times possessive (of her toys) and always affectionate much the way a child would be. We miss her very much as does her "big sister", our 7 year old Golden Retriever. I appreciate your kind words and your website -- it's been helpful. Thank you again.

Donna,

You're welcome. My first thought was that it was a pet, but then I read it again and wasn't sure. I don't have children and my dog is very much my child, so I know where you're coming from! It's tough to lose them, and three is awfully young. My prayers are with you.

Anne

Anne Robertson
www.annerobertson.com
Una lux sola tenebras dispellet

< replied-to message removed by QT >

With all the attention focused on the election of the gay Bishop, some of you may have missed this great animal-friendly resolution passed by our Episcopalian brothers and sisters:

* FINAL VERSION - Concurred
Resolution D016

Topic/Title: Stewardship: The Protection of Animals from Cruel Treatment

Proposer: The Rev. Canon David Shoulders (Indianapolis)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Resolved, the House of Bishops concurring, That the 74th General Convention recognize that responsible care of animals falls within the stewardship of creation; and be it further
Resolved, That the Episcopal Church encourage its members to ensure that husbandry methods for captive and domestic animals would prohibit suffering in such conditions as puppy mills, and factory-farms; and be it further
Resolved, That the Episcopal Church's Peace and Justice Office identify existing guidelines to educate its members to adhere to ethical standards in the care and treatment of animals; and be it further
Resolved, That the Episcopal Church, through its Office of Government Relations, identify and advocate for legislation protecting animals and effective enforcement measures.

Thank-you for your website. I read the post of the Ganesan family and that really touched me as well. I lost my dog Ginger 2 days ago. She was only 5 years old. Someone left the gate of the backyard opened and my 2 dogs went exploring. My other dog came back home, but some how Ginger got onto the bart train tracks, and while I was frantically looking for her, she was killed by a bart train. I have lost animals before--but never this way--so sudden and horrible. Every time I close my eyes I see her little body on the tracks and I can't understand why God would let her die this way! Thank-you for the time you take in helping others cope. Nobody in my family seems to understand or have the love that I do for Ginger.
Molly Zamora

Molly, What a horrible way to lose Ginger! I wish I could tell you why it happened, but I can't. I am certain, however, that God is weeping with you at the tragedy. There might have been many times in her last moments when God prompted and urged her to leave the tracks, and she didn't. It must be awful to have the memory of finding her body like that on the tracks. If it is any consolation, she probably never knew what hit her...probably never had time to even have pain, before finding herself with God.

Remember that the Ginger you knew and loved still lives...just not in the body she had. I find it helps to imagine her spirit right there beside you, wanting to comfort you and assure you that she is well and happy. You will still miss her and grieve for yourself, but you don't have to worry and grieve for her.

And if you're mad at God, go ahead and say so in your prayers. Honesty in prayer is always the best policy and I have always found comfort, even if I haven't received specific answers, when I am open with God about my feelings. God understands our grief better than anybody...even ourselves.

May God bless you as you go through this difficult time.

I lost my ferret Sugar Bear today...at 7:30am. My heart is tearing into pieces. I've lost others and I have 3 left plus 2 cats...but the pain of losing yet another one is still horrible. The vet had no clue why he stopped eating a month ago. I have been syringe feeding him but yesterday he decided no more. I wish I had someone to talk to..... I feel so alone. It hurts too much...............please, is there someone out there????

Barb,

 I’m so sorry to hear about Sugar Bear. It hurts every time because every soul is different…just like it hurts to lose every person in our lives, so it hurts to lose every animal. Grief is normal and natural when someone we love dies.

 Yes, I honestly do think that the animals we love go to heaven. I believe that because I believe that God is love…so anything and anyone we love participates in God and therefore can never die. When we give the gift of love, we give the gift of eternity. Sometimes it helps to imagine a silver cord connecting you and everyone you love…both people and animals. The silver cord is never broken…it is connected soul to soul, not body to body. When Sugar Bear died, his body gave out, but his soul is still connected to yours by the silver cord. Imagine him right there beside you, in spirit form, healthier than ever.

We grieve deeply only when we love deeply…grief is an expression of love. You are only parted for a time. I do believe that you will be together in heaven…that you really are together even now, although not in a way that your human senses can perceive. Trust God that Sugar Bear is there with you, nudging you to give your deep and generous love to still other animals who still suffer in their mortal bodies with no one to care for them. Sugar Bear is in good hands now.

Sometimes a ritual helps…light a candle, say a prayer, and talk to Sugar Bear like he was right there. I believe he is. Trust God to care for Sugar Bear and for you.

I have a dog: a girl, 3 years old, a lab/doberman cross (I think) who's been throwing up for the past 2 weeks. I have taken her in to the vet and had her checked out. Everything appeared to be normal.

She has not shown major signs of malnourishment, but if she continues not to keep anything down, she will start showing it. She is a little skinnier, which is well understandable, not really keeping anything down for awhile.

The vet had me change her food (again, about 2 weeks ago) to Hill's Prescription Diet I/D formula, and I have tried both the canned and regular versions, neither have worked. I also have tried just feeding her chicken to see if there is something in the food being given her that is causing an allergic reaction. Speckles (my dog's name) has kept a little bit of food down during the 2 1/2 weeks of sickness, but lately (the past couple days) has not kept anything down at all.

I brought in a stool sample to the vet, and he did not find any worms or anything abnormal. She has been going to the bathroom, so I know that something is getting through.

Have any of you had these symptoms with your dog? I'm concerned that she needs to start keeping things down. I did get medication today (Sucralfate) that is supposed to help if it is a cyst or something along those lines. I would greatly appreciate your response. I believe my next (and last) option is x-rays, which can be pricey, but I may just have to go with it.

Thank you all so much for your time!
~Bekah

To Bekah-whose dog is vomiting. Bekah, my dog started vomiting about 5 wks. ago,..even spitting up some water. The xrays were normal,& some days she kept everything down. My vet ordered metoclopraminde-"vomit" pill to be given 30-45min.before meals;for 2 wks.or so we gave her boiled chicken and rice;then gradually added I/D--later she was given Flaygl-antibiotic/anti-inflam.for colon; she did beautifully for 2-3wks.--I gradually added 1/2cup of her reg.dog fd,to above mixture, and after 3 meals, she vomited again this morn. Do wonder about the reg. dog fd...She had also been off of the "vomit" pill for a wk..no problems until now. I assume it will be back to old regimen-with the vomit pill. We suspect she is becoming more anxious when we leave her-she is an 8-1/2Gr.Pyrenees. It sure is a trial & error thing,,and hard to see them sick. Good luck to you!! Incidently, I go to Anne's church, & an a parish nurse;-wish there is a major cure for this one! Nancy Jo

Nancy Jo,
Oh, what you have described sounds sooo much like what's going on with me. I did go to the vet about a week ago and they also prescribed the metoclopramide. That went until Friday, and then she started throwing up again. I was prescribed more, and she's currently on that now. It hasn't seemed to be working quite as well as it did last week, though. She's been "licking" and I think she may have thrown up this morning before I fed her. Please let me know how things turn out for you.

Bekah,
I have a really good vet. He recommended that I feed my cat and I have seen it with dogs... Change your dogs food. Today's cat and dog foods even the premium ones are like feeding your do good holsome chilli dogs for each meal. My vet recommened me feeding my cats Innova cat food. It is some much like real food you could eat it yourself. My friends dog had a type of mange that started on her older dog. I told her to try the Innova dry dog food and withing two weeks her dogs skin was much better and the hair came back in within consumption of the first bag of dog food. Her vet was medicating with harsh drugs and was not getting much from it. I really believe in Innova dog and cat food. I like the dry food the best. It is made of real food and is a little more epensive but is worth it. Less trips to the vet.
Try it and let me know how you go.

Edited by author 10-29-2003 08:29 AM
To Bekah-I just lost my my cat 5 months ago-the thing is, I wasn't there when he died. I had gone away to Florida for vacation. As if that wasn't bad enough- He died the same night I took off. (I of course had someone to take care of
him)

Please respond.This is all very strange to me.

Hello, and thanks for your replies. Everything went super for about 4 days, and now she's back to vomiting again and not keeping anything down at all. I went back to the vet today and got more metoclopramide and cemetidine. We'll see if that helps any...again. After all of this that I've been going through, I don't know what to do. There is an ulcer on the roof of Speckles' mouth. That had started to heal some, but now has gotten bright pink again. I don't know if that could be causing the problem or if (as I suspect) there is something underlying that's wrong. The vet keeps trying to get me back in for a barium test and then go on to endoscopy. That's so $$$$, though!!!
*sigh* - so discouraging.

The pictures on this website are a blast!

http://www.palletmastersworkshop.com/happy.html

I just wanted to thank God for the 12 years of love I received from my mutt - Roxie - I know she's in pup heaven, chasing bunnies, and eating peanut butter and hot-dogs (her favorite to the chagrin of my vet!) I am hoping and praying that those of you who are dealing with an ill pet keep trying - follow your instincts - many vets are in the business for the cash - and know that it is sometimes better, for you and your pet, to let nature take it's course. I disagreed with my vet on Roxie's care (she had cancer), and had her presence and love for 3 years longer than they anticipated -

I also have found a great vet who euthanized my pup at home. This was wonderful - so personal, and I was able to grieve without walking through a waiting room.

So, Thank you God for Roxie - may she rest, and play, in peace.

In memory of Roxie-Boo 1990-2003

Edited by author 11-12-2003 12:18 AM
To those of you who have had a pup who's vomiting - have you checked your yard - sometimes they get into eating grass - if it has been chemically treated can cause problems. There's also certain plants in your garden which may be the culprit - check out flowering beds and see if your dog has been using them as a salad bar! My problem at first was a neighbor who loved Roxie, but gave her ham bones - she wasn't used to high-fat greasy stuff and I wasn't even sure if the meat was good - he'd throw it over the fence when we weren't home - check with neighbors and see if they are loving your pet too much!

When Rox first got sick, she went through the "vomit" stage - she wouldn't eat - it was as if she knew she would get sick again. First I didn't feed her for 24 hours, then I gave her a bland diet of rice and hamburger (cook it and then rinse the fat off of it) for several days - this gives their tummy a rest- she rallied really well after this
I didn't give her any scrip meds - figured they may just upset her stomach more!

I don't want to upset you - but when my dog started with cancer, the way they knew it was getting worse was by an ulcer and then a lump in her mouth - hope this isn't the case with Speckles (cute name!) Give her hugs for me and I hope she gets well - Maybe the medicine the vet is prescribing is too acidic for her and that's why she's getting ulcers -

Hope this helps- RM

To my beloved dog Bailey: Twelve years was not enough. You seemed so healthy until this happened. People still thought you were a puppy! I am devastated by my loss. My world will be a much lonelier place. Your memory has been placed in my mind's 'homepage' to be viewed upon awakening each day of my remaining years. You were such a sweet dog. I tried whatever I could for you. Your illness tore me apart. You can attest to all of the crying. I thank God for allowing me to care for you on this earth. Your gentle spirit,inquisitiveness,loyalty and unconditional love will never be forgotten. You had so many good qualities. Thanks for trying to be yourself even when you were at your weakest. I saw you with your squeaky toy! You made my day be wagging your stubby tail even though you could barely walk. I will miss your morning kiss and your evening 'welcome home'. Your big brown eyes were adorable! I want to give you a big hug and a kiss you little cutie pie! I love you!!! Your sister Bristol misses you so! Someday we will all be together again!
--- Bailey died on Tuesday 11/18/03 at 5:08pm.

At the moment I read your e-mail my heart went out in
prayer for both of you.

' . . .he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death
will be no more.'

Peace be with you both, peace be with you both.


wes
--- QT - Joe <qtopic+22-c6bs47VU3wk@quicktopic.com>
wrote:
>
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Edited by author 11-23-2003 10:56 AM
Thank you Wes for your sentiments. I was with Bailey when she passed on. She had either lymphoma or liver cancer. I had refused to get a biopsy which had been recommended by the vet because it would require an operation on an already weakened dog. The vet recommended chemotherapy for her which I couldn't allow. Chemo would have destroyed her immune system. I needed something that would strengthen Bailey's immune system. I had watched my mom die from bladder cancer just a year before (11/05/02) and I witnessed what chemo and radiation therapy had done to her. I tried to find a homeopathic cure, but I was too late. I had just started to use something that I hoped would help her. Bailey deteriorated quickly during her last three days. I told here that I didn't want her to die and asked that she give me some more time to try to help her. On her last day, she was so weak that I told her that I still didn't want her to die, but if she had to leave me, she should. I have her sister Bristol with me still and I can tell that Bristol is aware of Bailey's departure. I had expected to have both dogs for another 4 or 5 years at least! I'll be grieving for awhile. I loved that dog. I may have provided for her needs, but she in turn provided me with so much joy. I had Bailey cremated on 11/20/03 so that I could keep her ashes with me forever. I really didn't like the idea of cremation, but the other choice of moving away from the area and leaving her behind would have been even worse.

Ref.: Anne's Sermon Nov. 23 2003
Helga and I also have a special spot in our hearts for wild geese. Hardly anything else in nature triggers in me as strong an emotion as a flock [gaggle] of geese flying overhead and calling to each other, on their way South.
It is their unwavering goal-directedness - knowing what they have to do and doing it - which is so inspireing.
What else can we do but love them for it.

My 8 yr old Bichon dugged out a hole in the back yard, again. and got out, again... only this time he got killed by a car, and I can't help feeling so guilty, because I knew there was a hole. Instead of closing the hole, I put his collar and tag on, just in case he got out someone would find him and bring him back. everyone tells me that it was not my fault, but what if I would've close the hole. I just hope my little Benji could forgive me for my irresponsability and I hope he knows how much I love him and i also hope for God to take away the pain a feel for the loss of my precious dog, my little baby Benji.

it's been only one day since benji got killed, but it feels like forever, I just can't stop crying... I know how you all feel, and I just want to say that they all go to heaven no matter how "bad" they were. I know my little benji is now in Heaven, playing with your pets!!! Benji was the sweetes, most kind hearted dog in the world, he was always happy, friendly, he was my best friend, my baby. I love you benji.

To Benji's Mommy, I'm so sorry to hear about Benji. Animals, like people, have free will and often do what they shouldn't with tragic consequences. Benji's body is gone, but his Spirit is very much alive and connected to you by a silver cord of love. Tell him how you feel, confirm your love, and then let him go to frolick in God's heaven, where there are no fences and no cars. You will see him again.

Joe, How are you doing now that a bit of time has passed? Are you okay? 12 years is a long time to share life with an animal. It's hard.

Edited by author 12-28-2003 11:25 PM
It's been a month and a half since Bailey died and I still cry for her. She was a sweetie. In retrospect, I think I let her down. Maybe I should have given her the conventional treatments. I found out some things since her death. I had given her some medication for Giardia during the summer. None of my dogs have ever had Giardia. I knew nothing about this disease and I trusted the veternarian to effectively treat it. I had to give her two different treatments. After Bailey died, I found something on the internet which indicated that the medication that I gave her could result in Bailey getting lymphoma. The vet never told me this possibility. I was told that the medicine would not hurt her, even when I questioned his associate about my suspicions that the medicine could be harmful to my dog. I would have tried to treat her Giardia differently if I was given the FULL information. Now I live with a memory and a broken heart. One word of advice to anyone reading this: If you have any doubts about what a veternarian is telling you, pay attention to your conscience. I had my doubts and didn't do anything about them. I loved that dog. My other dog Bristol is acting totally different. I can't leave her at home by herself anymore because she now does her business inside. I can tell she is depressed. I have only left her alone at home 4 different times since Bailey died. The first time was on Thanksgiving. Three of the four times, Bristol went to the bathroom inside even though I let her out just before I left the house. One of the times when I returned home, she let out what was like a "scream" which I have never heard before. I went right through me and made me cry. She actually lost her voice the next day. I don't know what she was doing when I was not home, but she must have been going nuts. Needless to say, I take her with me a lot these days. She stays in the car while I shop, etc. I feel bad for her. I hope this situation doesn't decrease her life expectancy. I am currently unemployed, so this allows me to be with her every day. I can't imagine what it will be like once I find work. Poor dog... Bristol and Bailey were such a good pair. I miss their "togetherness". Thanks for asking.

Hello, someone please help! I guess I need some closure. My 11 month old shepard was hit, and killed today. I am falling to pieces. I miss her so much. She had gotten out of the back yard of my home. I took her over to my parents to stay two days until I fixed the problem of her getting out again. She loves it there. We stayed two months after a hurricane, and her company was two dogs just like her, and in the country. I went to see her last night, and bring her home but my parents asked me to let her stay one more night. Before I left, I gave her so many kisses. I am glad I did. The call came from my mom, I went there , and she was dead. How can I stop this grief, and guilt. Her name was maizie grace, I love her, and want her back. Help me please. Do you think she could hear me talking to her after the accident? I just kept holding her,and crying as I am now. Thankyou for taking the time to read this. KIM

Kim, How terrible! A sudden death like that is really hard, and I'm so sorry...she was so young. I do believe, however, that Maizie Grace could hear you after the accident, could feel your love, and was in Spirit licking your hand to try to make you feel better.

To get some closure, I would recommend gathering some people close to you and having a little funeral service. If you still have Maizie Grace, that could include burying her. In the old days, when families dug the graves for their own loved ones, all that physical labor was therapeutic in its way. Light a candle, say a prayer of thanks to God for the gift of Maizie Grace, and give her back to God. Tell stories about her, remembering the fun and sweet times. She will be right there with you, happy and well, in her new Spirit life.

You will still miss her for quite awhile, and there's nothing wrong with being sad about that. Just remember that Maizie Grace is fine now. She had a quick moment of very literally not knowing what hit her, and then she felt no more pain. Talk to her and remind both of you that she is and will remain connected to you by your love. Encourage her spirit to rise into God's light where she can romp and play without any danger. Who knows...perhaps her next assignment will be to stand as a guardian over you.

When the grief subsides a bit, think about giving your love to another animal that needs it. So many remain in this life without anyone to love or care for them.

My prayers are with you.
Anne

Dear Kim, my heart and thoughts go out to you. I loist my Wee Oscar (shih Tzu) last May 8th to IMHA and my life has changed forever. I found solace, great advice from:
www.aplb.com.

Go there today (excellent chat room) no cost and easy to register. You can register before the room starts if you want. If you can, this afternoon, they have qualified grief counsellor and many people that go there for help and advice. It is a sad reality that so many people that have lost thier pets in similar ways and worse. This is the best place to go. You will also see the other days that they chat.

Yes she can hear you and she knows how much you are hurting. We have to believe that they are at the Rainbow Bridge with all of God's little creatures that have gone on before us. Kim go to this site as well. www.rainbowbridge.com this will help you as well.

Take car
Darlene (Oscar's Mommy)

Hi, this is Kim. I would like to thank all of you for reading my entry. I see her everywhere. I have gone to her grave each night to tell her how much I love and miss her. I am grateful for your support. I just don't understand? Why does this happen to pets that have been here for such a short time. Am I being punished? If so why? I can't come up with anything. My fathers dogs, which were with her, and much older are fine. Not that I would have anything happen to them! I just don't understand. Thanks again, God Bless all of you. KIM

Kim, You are not being punished. Both people and animals have free will, and often the decisions we make are not in our own best interests, or in the best interests of others. Maizie Grace, as a puppy seems to have made a bad choice to run into the road or chase a car or however that part happened. The person driving the car may have made a bad choice to pay little attention or drive too fast. Those bad choices literally collided with tragic results. God did not design this event.

God can and will, however, use this event to bring about something good, if you turn it over to God to use. You and Maizie Grace are both loved by God, and God cries with you. Anne

I had to make the awful decision yesterday to put my Jaeger( 5yr old german shorthair pointer) to sleep. He had epilepsy and was having terribly long gran mal seizures. My other companion Gunther is depressed and misses his buddy. Please pray for him. 6 months prior my other companion Duke was put to sleep. He was 12 ( yellow lab) and his poor body was in pain.Please say a prayer for Gunther and our family. We are grieving so much.

Thank you

Hi Dee,
I lost my Wee Oscar on May 8th, last year and I never thought so much grief was possible. Our lost animal companions will always be in our heart and in our heads, and you will see them again. You must believe that. I went to Pet Loss Sites that are easy to source on the net. They helped me through but my life has changed for ever and thats a fact. My thougts and prayers are with you.

Joe, I was browsing through the messages and saw yours about Bailey. I very much emphasize with you. I had to euthenize my so loved 10 year old golden retreiver November 20, 2003 and the loss is tremendous. He had his first grand mal seizure at the time of the hydro outage and it was downhill from there. I suspected something was wrong a couple of years ago but the vet and everyone I knew said he was just getting older and was a lazy lethargic dog to begin with. I am sure the loss of central air and elevator operation brought a growth spurt to the already existing tumour. My father died of prostate cancer that metasisized to the bones 5 years ago. My golden and I spent all our free time with him and slept in his hospital room the last two weeks of his life and there was a lot of pain that could not be managed. After his death I noticed changes in my golden. I didn't realize how sensitive dogs are to this type of emotion and I regret it. How stupid of me. After the second seizure a CT Scan was taken and an inoperable tumour was found in the frontal brain next to the midline. I was offered chemo but refused and now I am sorry. I didn't have the money for radiation or other expensive therapies yet supplements and CT Scan etc cost me $5,000. I opted for supplementing and homeopathic counsel. If the outcome is bad then you second guess whatever decision you have made and kick yourself. I miss my golden so much and wish in hindsite I had taking more precautions during the outage and not listened to the vet and so-called friends who said I was over-reacting to nothing. Right now it feels like the loss will never end but eventually it will. Although I have to say that this golden was a total sidekick..very human..and very missed. I hope you are feeling a little more settled. There's seems to be a lot of us going through this.

Edited by author 01-23-2004 04:13 PM
Hi Linda,
Sorry to read about your dog and your Dad. I visit this site every now and then and today is the first time since my last message. You have been experiencing very similar situations. Our dogs passed very close in time. I still feel terrible when I think about Bailey. Bristol, her sister, is still behaving abnormally. I don't think that it will ever change. As a matter of fact, I think that she is going to die at an earlier age because of how uptight she has gotten. I have left her alone just another 2 times and again she exhibited the same behavior. I actually thought that she may have had a small stroke because I found some vomit on the bathroom floor and she was very lethargic. I am scared that she is going to die now too, but there is nothing I can do about leaving her by herself. I am now set to go back to school soon and I am hoping that Bristol gets over her separation anxiety. As far as Bailey is concerned, I think I am going to start writing down some "Bailey memories". I want to remember all the things that I loved about that dog... how she made me smile every day (no lie). Like your retriever, she was a definite sidekick. She was a smart little dog who I miss immensely. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think about her. My dogs were and are my family. Another point that you mention is very true. I believe dogs are very perceptive. Your dog probably was senstive to your experiences with your Dad. But please consider your Dad. It was likely that he appreciated that your dog was part of his last days. I know that I would have appreciated my pets being with me if I were in your Dad's situation. I am going to close with one thought. I hope that we all get to experience our pets (and our love ones) again once we pass from this world. I am looking forward to seeing my Mom and Bailey again. God bless you and everyone else who have experienced this emptiness in their lives. It hurts.

Joe,
As I read your concerns about Bristol, a thought occurred to me. Dogs are very good at picking up on human fears and emotions. If you are starting to think that Bristol is going to die, then something of those thoughts may be getting through to her, making her afraid for her own safety.

You might try focusing on positive thoughts when you are with her. Keep a picture in your mind of Bristol as a healthy and lively and happy dog. Play with her as if there was nothing in the world wrong, and see if that makes a difference. I know my own dog is a complete reflection of what I am feeling. Some dogs sense when you are down and try to make you feel better. Mine merely reflects my own emotions, so if I am depressed, she is down in the dumps, too. If I am happy, so is she.

Anyway, it was just a thought. I am praying for you.
Anne

Hi Anne,
I have tried to be positive around Bristol, at least more recently. I am treating her much like the way I used to before Bailey died. I talk to her, I praise her, I flatter her, I play with her and I even occasionally have to scold her... this is all normal interaction. She is better as far as her energy level, but when it comes to being left alone, I don't see any change in her behavior. I was putting her in the bathroom while I left the house, but the last time she was alone, I placed her in a cage in the kitchen. My brother lives in an apartment in my house and he told me that when he came home, Bristol was barking and crying. That would explain why she loses her voice. The one positive about being in the cage was that she didn't do her business in the cage. My brother did let her out for me (which is so rare) and Bristol pooped and peed, but she was already home by herself for a bit before my brother showed up. At least she held it! I am going to try to cage her again the next time I leave her by herself. I had to laugh because she actually entered the cage on her own two days ago while I was in the kitchen cleaning the oven. I have to assume that she doesn't really mind being in the cage. I told her she was "a good girl". What she does not like is being alone. I don't think that her feelings about being alone will ever change. There is defintely some kind of separation anxiety taking place. When I am home with her, she doesn't let me out of her site. If I leave a room, she will follow me. I am always telling her to relax. Maybe time will help. Thanks for your prayers.

I was happy to find this site and read some of the messages. Our 8 yr old golden retriever died Sat night from a fatal gastric bloating condition that came on suddenly. It is a terrible loss and am feeling I guilt that I should have known about this condition and reacted in time to save her life. She was sweet, innocent and just gave and gave. Hew companion Annie, a small cocker is sticking to me like glue and looking depressed. I am not sure if getting another dog this soon is a good or bad idea and was also thinking of becoming a 'foster' parent for rescue dogs.

Hi Marlene,

My deepest sympathies on the passing of your dog. No one knows the pain until it happens to them. I cannot offer you any advice about getting another dog, but I think that becoming a foster parent for rescue dogs is a very special thing. Some day I may do the same, but more than likely it will happen when I have no other pets to take into consideration. I hope Annie overcomes her insecurity. My dog Bristol has improved ever so slightly. I feel guilty about having to cage her when I go to school, but it seems to be preventing any accidents in the house. When I am home with her she is fine. I'd rather cage her and come home to a clean stress free house than yell at her for messing in the house. I think that she is starting to get used to the cage and may even appreciate it. Best wishes to you and your family.

Joe, Thanks for the kind email. We seem to be doing better and moving forward. Annie is very used to having me around most of the time as I have a home real estate office. She is having big time separation anxiety and I hope don't overdo the attention making the situation worse. It is hard to leave her so I can empathize with your situation going to school. Maybe Bristol can attend and earn his degree at the same time. It seems to be true that most of these smart animals have so much more going on in their heads than we know about. Thanks again.

 In Canada, the yearly slaughter of baby seals has again begun and will be worse than ever.
 
350 ooo baby seals is this year's quota.
 
And the Japanese will this year hunt and slaughter 400 [or is it 500] whales for "research Purpose" . This certailnly will encourage the Norwegians and the Icelanders to follow suit.
 
Human cuelty and profit seeking is limitless.
 
Helga and Helmut

my family and i lost our best friend last night his name is Merlin is was a german sheppard -greyhound beautiful dog. merlin wasnt sick or anything he was fine until i came home he was just lying down on the ground and he couldnt go no futher. Merlin waited for my husband to come home lifted up his head and took his last breath. he knew is daddy and his whole family was there and it was time to
say Goodbye. We love you Merlin but now you are in Heaven and you are safe and not in pain anymore. sweet Dreams my baby. WE LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER

On Thursday, May 6, 2004 I lost my best friend, my son and the last earthly link to my father. Jo Jo was hit by a car in front of our house and died about an hour later at the emergency hospital.
Since then I have taked to the bed and can't stop crying. I couldn't even go to work. My boyfriend has not stop crying since he found Jo Jo outside and rushed him to the hospital. I am in Louisiana and Jo Jo and my boyfriend are in Maryland.

Jo Jo was my father's dog. After my father died in 2001 I decided to take Jo Jo back to Maryland with me and my boyfriend. To me, Jo Jo was the last earthly link to my father. We had a special bond that nobody understood but my boyfriend. He and Jo Jo also had a very special bond. They were best friends and really looked out for each other.

I guess my question is how do we go on? How do we get up every morning and go to work when we can't even stop crying?

Please help me!!!

LaVerne, It isn't easy, especially when a death is sudden. A lot of the grief you just have to slog through. It might help to recognize that a good part of your grief in this is for your father. It doesn't sound like you really let go of your father when he died. You hung onto him in Jo Jo. Now you are grieving them both at once, which makes the grief even more intense than in would be otherwise.

Maybe it would help if you envision life on the other side for a bit. Your father now has Jo Jo back, and they are having a wonderful time together. Even though Jo Jo died through an accident, you could think of letting go of him as a gift to your father.

In any case, go ahead and cry as you need to for both your father and for Jo Jo. When you get back to Maryland, have a little ceremony to say goodbye. Talk with your boyfriend about the fun times with Jo Jo, and thank God for letting you have that connection to your father for three extra years. Then light a candle and commit them both to God's keeping. If the grief is still uncontrollable by the end of this week, find a grief counselor who can help you through. I am praying for you.

SpiritSong, thank you for reading and replying to my post. Ralph and I are going to have JoJo cremated and in August when I go up to Maryland, we are going to spread his ashes over his favorite walking spot. He and Ralph would walk there every morning and evening and JoJo would run and chaise the squirrels. I think he would like that.

My thoughts and prayers are with. Unfortunately, I am on my way out but I will sen you something tonight that may help. In the meantime try and source this book, it is THE BEST.
 

The Loss of a Pet

Author: Dr. Wallace Sife

This book saved me when I lost y Wee Oscar Meyer.

Take Care

Darlene





Darlene

  
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Excerpt from the book, "Maya's First Rose"
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember . . .

The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter -- simply because something in its eyes reached your heart.

But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room -- and when you feel it brush against you for the first time -- it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet and you may add a pill or two to her food.

And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.

And on this day -- if your friend and whatever higher being you believe in have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own -- on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you -- you will feel as lone as a single star in the dark night.

If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul -- a bit smaller in size than your own -- seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.

And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg -- very very lightly.

And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lie -- you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart -- As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.

But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when --
along with the memory of your pet -- and piercing through the heaviness in your heart -- there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love -- like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow -- and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go.

And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets -- it is a Love we will always possess.

By Martin Scot Kosins

Darlene, that is really beautiful. If anyone reads it they are bound to find a lot of truth and a lot of comfort.

Somebody please talk to me. JoJo's ashes are ready to be picked up. Ralph is going to pick them up tonite. This makes every thing so real. I WANT MY DOG BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had my cat Louisa put down on Friday 5-21-04. I live by my self and all I have done is cry. She was my best friend for 9 years. I will miss her. She was very sick since Dec. of last year but she for some reason fought to stay alive.
I can only say I feel empty and since I don't have anyone who really cares I have to deal with this on my own. But I'm not dealing very well. I was just reading on this site about the book The Loss of Your Pet. I am going to buy that book but I know it will still take time to realize that my little punky is not not coming home. I guess I keep thinking she will just pop up and all will be back to what is was. I did not think I would be like I am with that empty feeling . Oh I hope it gets better. Reading other discussions has helped to know I am not alone.
Thanks for reading this. Lets just say time will heal all of us. I will miss my Louisa so much.

LaVerne and Robin, you're not alone. I and others have gone through what you're going through...although we each have our own set of unique loves and circumstances. It's just plain tough going for awhile. Just remember that both JoJo and Louisa still live. They know your love and your grief and would soothe it if they could. Your last act of love for them is the most important...to let them go...allowing them to take your gift of love and lay it at the feet of God. You will see them again, just not for a time. I am praying for you both.

Robin, I am so sorry to hear about Louisa. I have been going to a chatroom for people who have lost their pets. The counselors are very nice and everyone comforts each other. Why don't you check it out. The website is aplb.org. The chatroom is open on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. Also, on Sunday afternoon and evening. I hope to see you there.

Spiritsong, thank you so much for comforting words. I can tell by your beautiful words that you are really a caring and beautiful person. Thank you so much.

Lost my 17 Yr. old peke-a-poo last month. Have been very ill for 26 years. Spending 24/7 with my furry baby brought us closer than many humans. There is a hole the size of a fist in my heart for the loss of my best friend. Seems like pain will NEVER END although I know it will. Got new puppy last Fri. named Molly who is very ill and may have to be returned to breeder. I am sobbing uncontrollaby. My illness itself is so much to bear, let alone losing my buddies. I am in love with my 8 week old Molly. Pray for her, please. Ask me about my Deer Story (true) for those of faith.

I hope your Molly pulls through. My sympathy on the loss of yur best friend. 17yrs is a wonderful long time with you, but i know it never is long enough.
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Last Weds. we euthanized our oldest (15 yrs.)cat, Rudy. Every day at around 5 pm til about 7 pm, we light a candle and we have some of his photos around the candle. We need this commemoration. We are having him cremated (I feel terrible about this - he is STILL at the vet refrigerated- it just bothers me that they have to send him away to be cremated). Anyway, I wonder if anyone has any thought about cremation, and keeping their ashes in an urn (at home). I heard somewhere that in some oriental societies, they believe that their souls are contained in the urn, and must be released. Do you think that is true? Thank you

The commemoration for Rudy sounds lovely, and I'm sure it's a comfort.

A soul cannot be contained in an urn or anything else, as a soul is not limited to matter. Rudy's soul was released when his body gave out, and I believe that he went to God, even as a cord of love keeps him connected spiritually to you.

There are several nice things about cremation. For one, it is clean...rather like an offering given to God as the smoke rises. Another is that you have options with ashes that you don't with a body. You can bury the urn in the backyard, but unlike with a body, you can also dig it up and take it with you if you move. You can keep it in a special place in the house, if you wish. You can also split the ashes up...scatter some in a favorite place in the yard, bury or keep others in a special place, some people have even had a bit of the ashes put into a piece of jewelry or other special item.

There is also a memorial option that you still have since the cremation has not yet taken place. Some people will get some plaster or clay from a craft store and have the vet make a paw print that you can then keep.

God bless you as you go through this time of grieving.

Our family just suffered the loss of our 9 yr-old Sharpei. We had to put Max to sleep after learning that he had liver cancer. He was in severe pain and he was in very bad shape. We love him so much, and it's so hard for me and my family to get over his loss. We work with rescues and still have 7 'surrogate children' (dogs) but Max seemed larger than life and now I feel myself, like I've lost a piece of my heart when he died. Is there anything that I can do to make this emotional pain any better?

When a loss is fresh, pain is intense and slogging through the dark time is a part of it. I have found that having some sort of ritual for closure can help...a funeral of sorts. Light a candle, say a prayer, tell the stories about Max and his interactions with the family.

In that process, re-connect with your heart...or at least the piece of it that seems gone. You gave it to Max, but Max is only gone physically. I believe 1 Corinthians 13:8 that says "Love never ends." It doesn't say only love of human beings. God is love and therefore love is eternal. Max has carried your love and that piece of your heart right into the arms of God. What better place for it to be?

Allow the grief...it is a sign of love. But I'm also sure that Max has been busy telling God just how lucky he was to have a loving family to care for him, right up until the end. He was blessed. Pay some extra attention to the other 7 as well. They are grieving, too.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Edited by author 02-14-2005 04:09 AM
My cat T-Shirt died a month ago this Valentines day. I found this site looking for spiritual topics on pet bereavement. I am having a particularly hard time with it as my boyfriend has left me and I feel even more of a loss (I often wonder whether our arguing contributed to her death). I am having a hard time spiritually with her death, especially after his repeatedly saying that animals were just "props" on this earth. She was sick with stomach cancer, and the day I euthanized her I was asked if I wanted a mass cremation or individual, and I opted for mass, not fully realizing I would not get the ashes back. My other cat is elderly and diabetic and I did not want to waste money that could be spent for the care of my other cat, but I didn't fully realize that would mean not getting her ashes back. I've never been through an animal's death before and it has made me wonder what happened to my poor little cat's soul. I feel very inadequate. I did gather some pictures and make a little online album of her but have not finished it, and kind of feel too depressed to do anything else.

My other cat, who is the mother of the one that died, was very aggressive and nasty to the dying cat, kept stealing her food, we had to isolate them, and did not really seem to miss her at all, which has made me feel a little resentful -- not too much though, because I'd rather her not be in pain about it. She does seem a little lost now that my boyfriend is gone, and I feel that way too, spiritually. I feel like I have failed at this relationship, with recognizing T-Shirt's sickness earlier, with being an adequate caretaker with my other cat Daisy. I also just cannot get myself to belief that an animal that provided me with such comfort and humor, with such a distinct personality is meaningless, but while other friends that have experienced the loss of a pet are sure their animal is in "cat heaven" I draw a blank in thinking about that. I don't know if I believe in that either, but I want to believe that she is in a better place, not just blackness or nothingness. The only thing I can come up with is that she is definitely in my heart, but my heart is feeling a lot of pain right now. The household is now just me and Daisy and it is a very lonely feeling at the moment.

Eileen,

What a difficult place to be in. I don't know why losses seem to come in bunches, but in my experience they do. I grieve with you over the loss of T-Shirt (what a fun name!). I'm sure your boyfriend had some very good qualities, but if you had come to me wanting relationship advice and told me he thought animals were just props, I would have suggested that you leave the relationship and find someone more in keeping with your own values. Once you know what it's like to bond with an animal, it is very difficult to make a relationship work with someone who doesn't understand or at least respect that part of you.

When we experience a death, either of a beloved companion animal or a loved human being, a lot of people have some guilt feelings. Aside from those who did actually murder the loved one, the guilt feelings are usually not accurate. We like to think we have more control over situations than we do and think we should have been able to protect a person or animal more than we actually can.

Spiritually, I think there is a very real connection between our earthly relationships and our relationship with God. When those on earth desert us, either in death or another form of breakup, we tend to feel God has left, too. It's hard to feel that God loves us when others around us are leaving and rejecting us. I believe God still does love us...it's just hard to feel it when we're not getting it expressed in our earthly lives. So I can understand that you might feel God is distant right now. That's not true, God is right there beside you, but there are times when it is hard to feel it for sure. That's why we call it "faith." We trust that something is true, even when it sure doesn't seem so at the moment.

T-shirt was created by God. God brought her to you, and you cared for her through the end of her life. You gave her love, and love is eternal. Love never ends. I belive that T-shirt's soul went right back to the God who made her and that you and she are still connected through love. She is happy and at peace...probably wishing she could cheer you up and assure you that she is absolutely fine. Love never ends. She loved and you loved, and so the relationship endures, and she endures. In a way, your love may have given her eternal life.

I have no idea why her mother was so nasty but cats, just like people, have their own personalities and "issues." Continue to love her as she is.

You obviously have a lot of love to give. Give some of it to yourself. I've had my share (or perhaps more) of failed relationships, and so I've read a lot about them. One thing that has always stuck with me is that we tend to get the relationship we think we deserve. That means if you don't love and value yourself, you're likely to attract someone who will treat you without real love or value. When you remember that you are a daughter of God and that God loves you through and through no matter what, you will attract someone who will offer such love in human form. It's something to think about.

My prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time.

Edited by author 02-15-2005 03:59 AM
Thank you so much, your message was very comforting to read and I will print it out to re-read when I'm feeling bad about little T-Shirt. My boyfriend may be just trying to act tough regarding animals, because he doesn't like to be vulnerable and has said that. He definitely respects that part of me, because he has said so, but I don't think he has been around someone who was that enamoured with animals. I could tell he was horrified by T-Shirt's rapid decline and when I told him the prognosis he had a couple of tears in his eyes and said if he had known that he would have spent more time with her. He has also cried at the way his mother treated his pet gerbils and my other cat Daisy just adores him, he has given her much more attention than I have, so I think being around animals has helped him and I don't believe that he can be friendly and caring to animals yet really believe they are just "props". Even T-Shirt, who was such a scaredy-cat, preferred women, and always running away at the slightest loud noise warmed to him in the end. I hope he has come to think a little differently. Anyway, thank you so much for your honest and kind words. One thing he did keep trying to impress on me was the Bible and I'm a pretty tough nut to crack in terms of one particular spiritual direction, but he did leave a bible and that prompted me to look up connections between animals and humans and God, and I very much liked looking at your site. One thing I forgot to think about today (and my boyfriend did leave a happy valentine's day message on my machine so maybe I'm not the worst thing that ever happened to him) was that my valentine today was my feisty 15 year old diabetic cat Daisy. Daisy has had to fight for her lot in life as a younger cat, I always liked that about her, as I have liked T-Shirt's complete disinclination to fight (though she'd defend herself when neccessary), her "heart of gold" as I always said. Daisy may not be around much longer and I would like to maybe try walking her outside when it's quieter out and no dogs are around (I live in Manhattan) so she can get a few adventures in her life before she dies, something I could never do with T-Shirt.

If animals are but props, then so is everything on earth and what is the importance of anything existing? I also felt I was being selfish because over 100,000 people had died in the tsunami but I paid more for the care -- and euthanasia -- of my cat than for homeless tsunami survivors.

Your comments were very caring and I truly appreciate and will reread them. What a wonderful service you have provided, I will try pass your good will and understanding onto another person in need!

Hello , I just lost my beautiful Shetland Sheepdog Pippin Feb 23, 2005. Pippin was just 3(1/2)weeks short of his th 14 th birthday which also happens to be the first day of spring. This was so fitting because Pippin had the most beautiful and sweet soul. I loved him so much as did his uncle David (my brother) and his grandmamma and granddaddy(my parents). We miss him terribly.The pain is enormous I definitely think animal have souls and that their souls go to a special place just like people's until the soul is ready to be brought back onto the earth. I know the creator has made a very special place for Pippin to wait until another beautiful and special Sheltie puppy is born that is deserving of pippin's wonderful soul.

Hi, I just had to put the first dog (from 3)we had that was truly my dog to sleep! She was a very high strong, dominant dog who was extremly smart, could read my mind and I could read hers! She was very healthy and almost 3 when she first bit our daughter and on Sunday attacked our son without growling or snarling, he just wanted to pet her, she was not even asleep! She did not go for his hand instead bit him in the face. He is okay, but afterwards, when I told her to go in her crate, she went in, gave ME a defiant look and snarled at me very quick. I told her NO, and we both new that was it! We know she was healthy and took her to many, many training sessions - but somehow it was just not enough and after she crossed the line I new she was dangerous despite all the love and training I put in her. She was 55 pounds of muscles, beautiful and I miss her soooo much! One minute she was great and the next she just had that mean posture about her, even the other dog and the cat than stayed away. I was the only one that could touch her when she had her moods, she let me do anything and that is why I had to make this aweful descison, since she would not have accepted anyone else we also could not place her in another home. I will always feel quilty because I failed her, I could not protect her from herself and miss her so much, but I had to protect the children. Please do not beat up on me, I do enough of that myself!

Please don't beat up on yourself. What happened was not your fault. There are rare times when something in an animal just snaps. You did the right thing to protect your family, even though I know it must have been terribly hard. I wish we had a different option for difficult animals, but right now we don't. You did the only thing you could do.

Your dog is now at peace and whatever troubled her is now past. She understands now what happened and why. I would suggest that you have a little ritual with your family to both remember and forgive. Remember the good times, forgive the bad...and forgive yourself while you're at it.

You didn't mention the age of your children, but keep an eye on them for signs of fear of dogs. Having a dog lunge for your face can be terrifying for anybody, especially a child. If that should develop into a fear of all dogs, the fear will increase the likelihood of being bitten again. Dogs sense fear and figure if you're afraid, you must be up to something. A couple of counseling sessions might be in order if the children were traumatized by the bites.

Good luck...and God bless.

Thank you for your kind words. Our children are older (18, 19 and 21) They knew what I was doing before I brought her to the vet. The 18 and 19 year old were bitten and she growled at my husband numerous times. We took her home and she is resting next to our former dog with her favorite toy, a ball and a hotdog! We bought her when she was 4 months old and I do believe something happen to her before we got her because she was not very fond of men and the lady sold her because her boyfriend had allergies to animals. I will always miss her and will be more careful when we get another dog somewere down the road. Her buddy misses her and we have to be extra loving with him right now since he has never been alone! This is still the hardest thing I ever did because I was the one who made it and stood firm to it and took her to the vet!

An invite: Please Join us.

Cut and paste the link. And place in your favorites.

Hope to see you soon.

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I am a DVM and I myself have a wonderful companion with a terminal illness, Scooter (my Cat) will be 14 this april and is in renal failure. He has had ups and downs this past year. I just want to thank God for the past year I have had with him, and continue to have. I know that the only reason he is still alive is by God's grace for me. I just want to let people know that Jesus loves you so much and that he wants you to be happy. I rejoice in knowing that Scooter, when it is his time, will be in Heavan when I get there. He is also a special needs pet, I have to express his bladder 3-4 times a day, he was born this way. I know I will have a hard time when he passes, just because I do so much for him. Please pray for me that I will continue to look to God and that I will find strength when the time comes. God bless

I will certainly pray for you and for Scooter. Thank you for all you do, not only for Scooter, but for all the animals you care for daily.

Reena,

I would also like to thank you for all you do to help animals. This site and Spiritsong wrote me such a wonderful note when I was so depressed -- it really helped me. Once I just allowed myself to be sad and to grieve, it was actually easier for me. My cat lived a long and comfortable life that she might not otherwise have had, and I am grateful for all the fun we had. I have another cat who is somewhat a special needs cat, she is diabetic, and though she is doing well and appears healthy, I can see that at 15 her time is limited too and I am trying to spend more quality time with her. Scooter is indeed a lucky cat to have had such an attentive caretaker, and a DVM no less! I say go ahead and cry your eyes out, you deserve that for all you've done for him. He has been a truly blessed cat. Give him a big furry kiss for me and I will also say a prayer for both you and Scooter.

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Hey everyone, I love this site 'cause you all understand exactly how i feel, because you have gone thru the same pain of loosing a pet. It's been 1 yr and 4 months since my dog Benji died, but EVERY time i think about him my eyes get watery, i even bought a stuffed animal that looks exactly like him, and every time i pass by the place where he died i can't help it, i even consulted a pet medium who actually made contact with him, that did helped a lot because it was real, she told me things about Benji that only I knew, and i still have the toys he used to play with I haven't even washed them because i don't want his "stinky" scent (hahaha) to go away, and right after he died i collected his hair from the carpet and saved it in a little jewlery box, all this things have help me, like when i want to kiss him i kiss the stuffed animal that looks like him and i hug his toys, but it still feels as if he passed away just yesterday, do you guys have any advice on how to stop crying???
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Juliana,

It's so darn hard to lose our loved animals. I'm sorry this has been so hard for you.

It sounds like you've become stuck in your grief...that you haven't really been able to let go of it for some reason. There could be lots of reasons for that. Sometimes people feel somehow disloyal if they stop grieving. Other times it turns out that one loss triggers grief from other sad and difficult things in a person's life, so a person thinks they are still crying about a pet when in fact they are also mourning other losses without realizing it. A good grief counselor could help you sort those sorts of things out.

In the meantime, try to imagine Benji's spirit right there beside you, his paw on your lap, trying to tell you that he is just fine. He is very much alive and hurting for you because you are still hurting for him. You could also try saying a little thanksgiving prayer when you think of him. Try to turn your heart to gratitude for the great gift of the life you had with Benji.

Many people never get tha