Hi Kitty,

What a sad story and such a young cat. I feel for you. It is dangerous for a kitty outside, but I also know how much mine hates to be cooped up inside. There is not a moment's peace in this house if the cat can't go out, and every time I let him out, my heart goes into my throat because I know one of these days he might not come back. But he wants it so very much. I've finally come to the place of thinking that although his life might be shorter going outside, it will be a happier life for him.

We can never completely protect those we love from harm, so please take the guilt off your plate. It's hard enough as it is. Every creature has free will and, like with my cat, it's always a balance between safety and freedom.

I know the Hong Kong culture is very different regarding pets than it is here in the US, so I feel for you not finding someone who can understand how much it hurts. You won't ever forget John. Every animal is unique and special in their own way. I believe they live on because of the love we share. The Bible says that God is love, so whatever is established in love is eternal. As Paul says in 1 Cor. 13: "Love never ends." John is still with you, but I know how much it hurts not to have him there in the flesh.

Two weeks is not a long time. If you still can't get beyond the loss in two months time (and by "beyond" I mean the rawness of the grief. You will always miss him in some way) then you might want to consider seeing somebody. Our losses and our loves get all tangled up together and sometimes we can't get past one thing because what we're really mourning is something else entirely. Losing a beloved pet is hard enough, but it often reminds us of other losses in our lives, making the grief more intense. Sometimes it's an actual death we mourn, sometimes the loss or absence of other things.

But it is still early. Hang in there. Many here know exactly what you're going through and feel for you. Even Jesus wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus. It will feel bad for awhile. Try lighting a candle in a quiet place for John, talk to him and tell him how you feel. He will be there through God's love.

Anne

We lost our 18 months' old cat John in a tragic way two weeks ago. My mother let him run freely outside at night despite my repeated warnings and one night John went to a neigbor's unit and jumped off the high building and died. We lived on 20th floor. My father took its corpse back and he cursed my mother all night. I tried to calm him down by saying some nice words to protect my mother but now I also started to get mad at her. Similar incidents have happened for several times but this time it was the most tragic and heartbreaking one. I started feeling very lonely without him and of course, guilty too as I did not stop mother from doing silly things again. I also started to cry and cry. I tried to get close to God, pray and share this with a few friends but I still feel extremely bad and miss John very much. Now I dare not share this with my friends any more as it sounds silly.

I hesitated to go to help as I thought this is not so difficult to go over especially when I am a Christian. But as time progresses, I find I miss John even more as he won't come back. I hope to get some comfort from animal lovers in this website to go through the hard time as in our culture people are not so fond of animals. How can I ever forget John especially he left us this way? I love him very much but couldn't protect him from harm. Any suggestions or spiritual words? Thanks very much!

Kitty
From Hong Kong

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...you know what is great is that your kitties had someone that loved them sooooo much. Even though they passed young, at least they were loved!!!

I know your heartbreak. I lost my 18 year-old Persian named Precious about three years ago. She had an enlarged heart that I didn't know about and have always felt guilty about that. I know she's waiting for me.

With so many pets without homes, feel good about what a great pet owner you are and keep your chin up!

God bless!
Sheri

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Susan, oh my! That is an awful lot of loss in a short period of time. It is very hard when they should still have a lot of life left in them.

How many of the cats were related? It sounds like maybe there's a genetic heart issue going on--certainly with the three siblings you've described. If your other cats potentially have either of the same parents, maybe there's a problem there.

My thoughts and prayers are with you in a very difficult time. You're right, they are all special.

We lost our 6 yr old persian cat last Monday to a heart attack. We had been treating him for a herpes virus and thought that was why he was so sick and so thin and not eating. We had no idea the reason he was not getting better is because he had a bad heart. The vets did not know either. We found out from the emergency room vet when he arrived DOA. I feel I should have known because both his sisters died young too. One was only 8 months old and never grew past 1 1/2 lbs and could barely walk. The other sister also had heart failure and died at age 2 while we were at work. The symptoms were so subtle I had no idea she was sick. I am so devastated to lose another cat, such a young cat. It feels so unfair to the cat to have such a short life. Last year we lost two other cats to heart failure. One was 9 yrs old and had been sick his whole life and the other showed NO signs of illness and died suddenly and he was only about 5 yrs old. I don't know how much more cat loss I can take and remain sane. I still have a lot of cats but that does not make it any easier because they are all special. I have lost cats that are older and it's not easy but it is so much harder when they are so young.

dsxFV6

Kim, I'm so sorry. Your baby had a good, long life, but that doesn't make it any easier. You had all the more time to bond. You shared love and that can't ever be taken from you. Love is eternal...nothing can break it...not even death. Your kitty is there for you now, just in another form, and you will be able to see her (him?) again one day.

But there's no way to get around that it hurts terribly now. Take time to cry and grieve. Have a little ceremony...light a candle, say a prayer, remember the fun days, and express your thanks for the light and love brought to you by one of God's special creatures.

Then start to keep watch for the next special one...the one who needs your love as much as you need theirs.

I'm here!
I had to make that painful decision for my 18 year old, Persian,
Precious in 2006! She had an enlarged heart and was having seizures! It was one of the hardest things I've ever done! I was so lost! ...and my other kitty seemed to tell me that I did the right thing...and I know I did but it's still so hard! I'm so sorry for your loss! There's no avoiding the pain, you must go through the grief! I know it's hard, but it will get easier!
Keep praying, remembering the happy times, and grieving...write a letter to your kitty or something to help get it all out!
I'm here and share in your sorrow! Just remember,...YOU WILL SEE YOUR KITTY AGAIN!!!! (Rainbow Bridge)
Sheri

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i HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY 18 1/2 YEAR OLD ORIENTAL CAT TODAY AND I FEEL SO LOST & LONELY AND NEED TO SHARE WITH SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS - IS ANYONE OUT THERE??

It's okay! Grieve, grieve, grieve! It's the only way for your feelings for Ferbie to be released so you an enjoy your memories in a melancholy way!
It is losing your family, I lost Precious (my 18 year-old Persian kitty) about 4 years ago and I was so grateful for this website to help me through the pain of the loss. It will get easier, but only if you suffer through the grief. You will come out better rounded and more grateful for you best friend.
Best wishes!
Sheri :)

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Oh and also to Sheri, I know that feeling of guilt, whether or not you did the right thing but you did all you could with what you knew, You loved and that is the best gift you can give your pet to everyone on this site who may be grieving the loss of a pet it will take time and also to those who still have their beloved fur babies, cherish them and love them and I know that they will love you back.

I just want to first thank you Marlene and Darlene for your comments, I am very glad I found Anne's website it's great to see that their are people out there who understand exactly what I am feeling and that these feelings are very strong. To Marlene, I am deeply sorry that you have to deal with the circumstance of putting your cocker to rest, Your selfishness is in love not maliciousness, we would do everything we can to help our beautiful companions, I wish you the best and whatever you decide to do, remember it will be in love. To Darlene I know exactly what you mean, some days are better and other days I just begin to cry with out warning, maybe a sound or me walking pass the mirror and remembering her following right behind me set's it off, I am deeply sorry for your loss as well, I know she is over that rainbow bridge healthy, happy and at peace, I just wish I could see her again and be there with her.

Hi Stephanie: Everyone grieves in they own way. Some days are not so bad and others days are the worst, yet in there will come a time that you will manage. You won't ever forget your Furbaby, even when you start to feel better. This I know. I am not able to share what I went through but please trust me. Those that think your grief should be thing of the past.... who needs em Kiddo. Ferbie IS at the Rainbow and I suspect looks handsome with his Silver Wings, zooming around.

Best Regards,
Darlene

Stephani.I am so sorry for your loss.It is a hard time and you are right to grieve all you want. I am facing putting my 17 yr old cocker, Annie down in the next day or 2 as she has chronic renal failure and has not responded to treatment, is uncomfortable,and not eating. I know this should be viewed as a final act of love for her, but, being weak and selfish, I really don't want to do it and am struggling with this decision. However, I don't want to wait until she has more distress and pain.

I have recently lost my beloved Ferbie, it seems like just yesterday, I am still in the process of mourning her loss. I have had an okay amount of support from friends but no one fully understands my pain and suffering, I feel as though everyone around me thinks I should just get over it and buy another dog, but for me it is not that simple. Ferbie was my family my best friend and it is not as simple to get over it as one may think or say