I like the reference to "murray eels" in the third one.

"They were like randy rabbits, not the kind Beatrix Potter wrote about but the other kind, the ones that shagged all day and used carrots in completely new and novel ways."

Reminds me of Douglas Adams.


I think the best bit was when "Randy's sex marmot yearned to escape," though. It just doesn't get any hotter than Rodentia Sciuromorpha Sciuridae Marmota. Any self-respectin' Bubba knows squirrels ain't got nothing on them.

I like the part where it says:

"His climax came quickly and furiously, his love gravy sliding down her throat like slimy alien invaders..."

..did I get that right?

An even better award is the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. I find it more interesting because the winners were trying their best to be seductive and failed miserably. Writing bad erotic fiction deliberately is much easier.