I am sorry to inform you that Raymond passed away this morning at about 8:30am. He was 46 years old, unmarried, and for the past 5 months had been living in a cleverly disguised hole in an ornamental flower bed in Regent's Park. In his will, which was written on the back of a packet of Kosher Chicken Soup Mix, he specified that his ashes were to be strewn over Michael Barrymore's swimming pool. It is not believed that anyone will mourn his passing as he was notoriously bitchy.