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The first job I had was high school janitor.

The first time I failed a class I did it to spite a teacher.

The first time I got drunk, I was 10 years old and at a wedding and throwing up and haven't really stopped since.

Edited by author 03-12-2003 01:31 PM
>I should be made to go through life wearing a helmet.

That's funny.

(Also: I just realized I've never been proposed to, or vice versa. No one has ever wanted me around forever, nor I them. Kinda weak.)

The first time I live bare naked boobies in the flesh, the girl said I could see them again if I got her a Newport Light. No such luck. I was 14, she was a senior. Her boyfreind was right next to her, encouraging her. It was at a high school dance.

It was another 4 years before I got laid for the first time. And she was someone else's girlfreind. And I was out of cigarettes and broke.

The first time I asked a girl to marry me, I was 19. and sober. and we'd been dating 3 weeks. She's now a PhD and married to another guy from our crowd back then, who technically, I introduced her to.

I should be made to go through life wearing a helmet.

The first time I used the Web I thought it sucked, more because Mosaic was a POS than anything.

The first time I had sex I didn't say "no" but on reflection, I doubt it'd've made a difference if I had. Which would explain a lot.

eXistenZ rocked my socks off. I also loved the strong female lead/weak male support dynamic in the film. Have you seen any of the new Animatrix episodes?

The first time I accessed the Internet, it was using Lynx, and I thought it was the best thing in the world.

The first time I word a toga it was purple silk. And it definitely wasn't my last.

The first time I was ran over by a car was by my sister.

The two condom thing. Some people do that to decrease sensitivity... don't wanna finish too fast. But I've read that it should never be done for protection... two condoms rubbing together can cause them both to break. This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Drugs are bad, mmkay.

My technique for tying shoes is different from everyone else in the world, but the end result looks exactly the same. When people see me tying my shoes, they're all like, "What the fuck did you just do?" It's just the way I learned.

I failed College Algebra once too. Math is worse than drugs, mmkay.

I think the Billy Ray Cyrus story needs to be expanded.

Yes, the Matrix is the shit.

I had just seen eXistenZ days before and thus my opinion was tainted.


(Heh, I said taint.)

The first time my sister spoke she said "balls."

I fell out of my chair. But I'm back in it now. It's okay.

Also, I still can't tie my shoe laces correctly. I wish someone would show me.

The first time I took the ACT I got a 30. My mom said I should take it again. I said no. The end.

Edited by author 03-11-2003 01:06 PM
That's a pretty damn good memory. And some damn good stories.

Did subsequent viewings of The Matrix change your opinion?

The first time ducks talked to me, I thought they were kidding.