The thing that struck me about "The Story of My Body" was the section where she was talking about Ted. I think everyone must be able to relate to the heartbreak that comes from someone ditching you or backing out on a date with you. The fact that he did it entirely because of her ethnicity was just so much more hurtful. I think that was what really hit me when I read that particular essay.

I've died my hair twice. I do it simply for something different, something new. Come to think of it, both times were during the winter. I guess it's sort of a solution to my winter blahs. I don't do it change my life. In fact, for a while, I startle myself every time I look in the mirror because I'm not even thinking about it. I've never had the obession with dying my hair exhibited in the Fighting Natural essay. Everyone has his/her own thing, something done just because, just for a change. Turning her hair into "wild straw" was something she started doing to change something much bigger about her self. I agree with Harmony in response to Charles. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't always find it so easy to simply take charge of life. There are definitely things that have affected my life from the time I was a child. Those things, although I try not to dwell on them, will continue to affect me for the rest of my life.

I’m going to steer in a bit of a different direction now. I and everyone else have been talking about the essays and noone has brought up anything about the web site presentations yet. I really enjoyed all of them very much. I walked out of class having learned quite a few things that I didn’t know before. I guess I never really realized how many things on the internet were directed towards women and their bodies. In fact having been in this class for the past six or seven weeks, reading all the stories, and doing the website reviews I have begun to open my eyes and it seems like women’s bodies are being presented everywhere. I’ll be sitting down watching a TV show and a derogatory comment will be made about a women and the way she looks. I’m noticing the way people are dressing, the billboard signs when I drive, all the commercials (there’s a yogurt commercial that shows a girls bathing suit (bikini) hanging up and she keeps passing it up until she feels she can wear it. They show her eating low-fat or fat-free yogurt. At the end she eventually puts it on showing that the yogurt helped her lose weight and she finally feels she looks good enough to wear it) Is there some rule that says how big or small you have to be to wear a bikini. I’ve just begun noticing many more things than I used to before having taken this class. I liked the website presentation that one of our classmates did that showed all the positive things rather than the negative things towards women and their bodies. Probably like the rest of you, I too could not believe that one web site (it was done by a church or some religious group). It was so wrong and unbelievable that you couldn’t help but see it as humorous. It was giving young kids pointers on how they should look to be popular, who does that? I had actually known nothing about the Russian Brides until the presentations. I couldn’t believe that. I found all the presentations to be very interesting and informative, it all seemed to go very well.

I agree with Kim. I really enjoyed the presentations of our web assignments. I think it was a great assignment. From what I gather, we all learned a lot-from our own projects and from each other. It was really interesting to see the topics people chose and the way they presented the material. This class has made me once again open my eyes to the world around me and the way in which women are presented everyday. I too thought that the website about young people and dieting (or something along those lines) posted by the church was absolutely unbelievable. That was one I wrote down to share with my friends. I mean, can you believe that?? Before, I commented on the "Fighting Natural" essay, but my favorite was "The Story of My Body." I really like the way she presented things by breaking them up into sections like skin, color, size, and looks. I think that each of us can relate to at least one of these categories. The essay opened my eyes to the way some people treat others. I thought that the store owner was so cruel. I think the last sentence of the essay goes to show what a woman she is. "My studies, later my writing, the respect of people who saw me as an individual person they cared about, these were the criteria for my sense os self-worth that I would concentrate on in my adult life." WOW

i was just thinking about that way we feel that all good things must cost us something. Assuming beatuy is a good thing, then feel don't feel that we have earned it, that it is real and valueble unless we have gone through pain to find it. It is that way with tatoo culture- if you can't stand that pain then you don't deserve the decoration. In response to harmony i would say that some people do hate you if you have blue hair- upon the occasions that i have had blue hair random people from stangers on the street to that cheakout lady at the grocery have treated me like shit.
on another note there is a distinct lack of respones to BLACKGIRLLOST's post about race racism and relaxer. why is this? any ideas? i feel like white people (i.e. the majority of our class) just don't know how to respond. how can we respond except to be aware of racism in general and our personal racism (both blatant and subtle). a big gushy appology on behalf of white people seems both ridiculous and inadequate. any thoughts?
-charles

I agree with Kim about the web assignments. I thought they were very well done and informative. I really learned a lot about various ways that women are portrayed on the internet. I can't believe some of the websites that are out there! Like the one by the Christian group advocating weight loss (with the lovely graphics), and the one about Russian brides. It really makes me think about how many sites are out there that totally degrade women and that exist to make women feel negatively about themselves. I think it's really sad that in every medium of communication, women have become the subject of exploitation and extreme criticism. It was, however, good to see some of the sites that did not focus on women's bodies, but rather were there for support or to bring women with similar interests together, like the site for women who hunted. At least we know that if we look hard enough there are some positive, empowering web sites out there. We just have to weed through all the crap to get to them.

I was rereading "fighting natural," and I found an interesting contradiction the author makes. She discusses throughout the entire essay that she is driven by blond ambition. She dying her hair is a way of hiding who she really is. But on page 236 she mentions how her clothes disguise her true self and that her hair color is a way to "come out as the low-class renegade" she thinks she really is. She also refers to her own dye job as tasteless. Why would some women spend so much money if it doesn't even make her feel better about herself?

TO CHARLES: THANK YOU. WHY DO I THANK YOU? BECAUSE YOU COMMENTED ON WHAT I WROTE. THAT IS ALL I REALLY WANTED. I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE, AND YOUR RIGHT; APLOGIZING FOR RACISM WOULD BE RIDICOULS (sp), INADEQUATE, BUT HONESTLY NOT NEEDED. IT IS DIALOUGE THAT IS NEEDED. IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME SO WHAT, I DONT CARE, I LIKE TO HEAR DIFFERENT OPINIONS. AT LEAST THAT WAY I WOULD KNOW SOMEONE WAS THINKING.SO BY YOU ACKNOLWEDGING THAT THERE WAS/IS "A DISTINCT LACK OR RESPONSE" MADE ME FEEL ACKNOWLEGDED AND PLEASED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS AWARE AND THINKING ABOUT THINGS....:)

AND TO ANSWER JEN'S QUESTION: WHY DO PEOPLE ADDICTED TO DRUGS SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON A SUBSTANCE THAT WILL PROBABLY KILL THEM: BECAUSE THE'RE BODIES ARE CONDITIONED TO IT. THE SAME THING GOES FOR PEOPLE WHO DYE THEIR HAIR, RELAX IT, DIET, SMOKE EVEN.(ON A LESS DRASTIC SCALE) WHEN SOMETHING BECOMES A HABIT AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HONESTLY NEED IT, ITS HARD TO BREAK

A little thought on race: I remember being in elementary school and watching the Power Rangers with my friends. Somebody asked a question: who's your favorite power ranger. And all of us--about six White girls and me--said Kimberly the Pink Ranger. Now, this was before the age when we started thinking about the opposite sex, so it was natural that we all picked a girl, but the decided lack of favor for Trini, the Asian girl, was a prime example for the way that beauty, legitimacy, and desirability are homogenized in this country--especially when we're young. In my own personal memory, I can chart a distinctive period (probably from age 9 to 13) that I pretended I was White. It was easy enough--I had mostly White friends, I had crushes on White boys, there was almost nothing in my behavior that labeled me as non-White...except perhaps my over-eagerness to conform. The not choosing Trini as my favorite power ranger was just one of many ways I'd tried to persuade my White friends to overlook my race.
A lot of the race-related denial has gone down since then. I'm definitely qualified to say that I embrace my Asian-ness now. However, every once in a while (BLACKGIRLLOST's comments, for example), something comes up that makes me question again my own race-adequacy. See, I'm not sure what constitutes the ideal state of comfort with one's race. Is it being unaware of one's race until reminded--so that one thinks of oneself as just a person instead of a Black or White or Asian person, or is it being very aware of one's often-unjust minority racial status so that one is a constant activist in the fight against the inequality? I have to say that, for the most part, I am the former. Maybe it's because I don't see enough Asians in my everyday life to remind me of my race, or maybe it's because I haven't personally encountered an incident of overt racial discrimination in many years, but most of the time, as I go about my everyday events, I think myself to be just like everyone else. Occasionally, though, things do piss me off: having a White guy come up to me in a club, mutter some gibberish, and say: "that means 'you're a pretty girl' in Chinese," the lack of Asian representation in the media, men telling me that they "love Asian women" and expecting me to take that as a compliment. But still, I think the bottome line is that if I give in to these and become constantly racially-preoccupied, then I lose in the fight to live and grow each day as a full, nuanced, legitimate human being. Yes, the White majority of this country has it better in many ways than the minorities, and yes, I should, when the chance comes up, make it my duty as a minority woman to express my point of view and eradicate ignorace, but one thing I won't allow is for my whole identity to be tied up with my race. In a society where stereotypes and racial pigeon-holes already abound, I will not allow myself to be defeated by them in my over-obsession in trying to overcome them.

TO WEI WEI: I ENJOYED READING YOUR POST. I KNOW THAT WE ARE SUPPOSD TO BE DONE POSTING BY NOW BUT I WANTED TO RESPOND. YOUR ENTRY MADE ME SIT, THINK, AND ANALYZE MY ACTIONS. AND THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH: I'M PRETTY SURE THAT EVERYONE WOULD LABEL ME AS THE "CONSTANT ACTIVIST IN PURSUIT OF EQUALITY" AND THIS IS BECAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF MY RACE. THERE ARE DAYS WHERE I PRAY TO GOD THAT I COULD JUST GO THROUGH ONE DAY WITHOUT HAVING TO QUESTION, SECOND GUESS, OR EVEN THINK ABOUT RACE. BUT I BELIEVE THAT AS LONG AS I REMAIN BLACK THATT OPTION WILL NEVER OCCUR SO UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS NOT THE CASE. WHEN I WALK INTO A ROOM I AUTOMATICALLY SEE NO ONE THAT IDENTIFIES WITH ME PHYSICALLY AND THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'VE SPENT THE LAST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE BEING SUROOUNDED BY A MIXUTRE OF PEOPLE BLACK, WHITE, LATINA. SO COMING INTO AN ENVIROMENT WHERE NO ONE LOOKS LIKE YOU IS HARD FOR ME TO DEAL WITH. I AM PUT OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AT ALL TIMES WHILE I AM ON THIS CAMPUS... AND THAT IS TOUGH. MAYBE I JUST ATTRACT BIGOTS AND ASSHOLES BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT EVERYDAY IS A BATTLE FOR ME AT THIS SCHOOL. THE RUDE, HURTFUL COMMENTS, LOOKS, IGNORANCE, IS THROWN MY WAY ON A CONSISTANT BASIS. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I CANT IGNORE. SO WHEN PEOPLE CONFRONT WHAT IS COMING THERE WAY, I DONT NECESSARILY THINK ITS OBESSING, I THINK ITS FIGHTING THE FIGHT FOR EVERYDAY LIFE, BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DEAL WITH WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT. ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE (IF I OFFEND YOU I APOLOGIZE) THE FACT THAT YOU ADMITTED TO CONFORMING IN YOUR PAST MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY YOU "PLIGHT" AS A WOMAN OF COLOR, AND WHY IT HAS BEEN LESS DIFFICULT OR NOT AS CONSISTANT AS OTHER WOMEN OF COLOR. THE FACT THAT YOU HAD FRIENDSHIPS WITH WHITE PEOPLE AND FOUND WAYS TO REALTE TO THEM MAY BE ANOTHER REASON WHY.DO I MAKE SOMETHINGS HARDER FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I REFUSE TO CONFORM? YES, I KNOW THIS MUCH. BUT THAT IS THE UNDERLINING POUNT. I FEEL NO ONE, NO WOMEN, NO ASIAN, NO BLACK, NO WHATEVER SHOULD CONFORM.BECAUSE I SEE THAT AS THE MINORITIES HAVING TO GIVE IN IS GIVING UP A PIECE OF THEMSELVES. DO PEOPLE GET EXTREME WITH THE: REFUSAL TO CONFORM THING. SURE THEY DO. BUT I PERSONALLY WOULD RATHER BE EXTREME AND CONFORM AS LESS A POSSIBLE, BECAUSE JUST THE FACT THAT IT'S THE MINOTIRTES (NOT JUST RACE, BUT WIEGHT, HAIR COLOR, ETC) THAT HAVE TO CONFORM TO BE ACCPECTED PISSES ME OFF. SO TO END MY POINT I AM CONTENT TRYING TO OVERCOME THESE ISSUES AS LONG AS THEY CONTINUE TO BE THROWN MY WAY NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR BIG, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT REMAINING SILENT IS SOMETHING FAR WORSE...LATER...

I lived with this woman from Antigua; she had a four year old daughter who's name is Kyra. She coloured her barbie doll with a black marker.

A few summers ago I was in the Bronx. I walked down to a small market and bought a pack a cigaretts. On they way back I realized that I was the only white person around and every one was looking at me like I did not belong. People don't notice their own color until no one around them likes them. I try not to look at people like they do not belong.

i thought the web assignments were very well done, and extremely informative. They posed a lot of interesting questions.

I was reading the Vagina Monologues, & it's amazing how people relate & refer to their vagina's. My sister, who is 20, can't bring herself to say the word. Vagina, pussy, cunt, all are like totally bad words for her. It's so weird!

I have had PCOS for about a year. I am going to go and get my bllod tested. Email me nicoleafyouni2003@hotmail.com

Has PCOS ever hurt before for any of yall?

PCOS is a LIFE LONG Condition. You can't just get rid of it! I think you need to do some research. I HAVE PCOS and diagnosed myself before 3 doctors could. I did alot of research about PCOS when a friend of mine who also has this condition told me about her. I thought I was crazy! I realized after doing extensive research on PCOS which is now called Stein Leventhol (which is PCOS's origonal name).
I had to fight all the way through the chain of doctors in order to get the answers. The first doctor I went to claimed he had twin patients with pcos and knows about the condition and sent me for a "thyroid" test when I have already been told my thyroid was fine.
Here are some sites to read about pcos:
http://www.pcos.net/
http://www.pcosupport.org/
http://www.wdxcyber.com/dxinf001.htm