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GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK! GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!GUS SALMON BASS PLAYER BLOWS N1GGERS D1CK!

Has anyone heard of the promotion that Beano is doing right now? It is called The Healthy Recipe contest. The grand prize is a trip for you and your best friend to a luxurious spa. Details are at www.beanogas.com, I am working on this promo on behaalf of Beano.

Thank you, it has been a struggle this last couple of weeks with the unknown and the frustration of not having children now but, my husband and I are dealing with this and have faith that everything will be ok. Darcie Valdez





>From: QuickTopic daily digest
>To: darcvaldez@hotmail.com
>Subject: Women and Writing
>Date: 18 Nov 2003 05:36:47 -0000
>

  Get movie theme backgrounds from Elf and Lord of the Rings to jazz up your MSN Messenger. Download it free now! < replied-to message removed by QT >

Darcie, I hope the surgery goes well. Not knowing can really get to you as much as PCOS can.

windblwn@bellsouth.net

Thank you for your support and feed back. I just thought I would give everyone an update. I went in for three test, 1 vaginal sonogram to look at my ovaries that showed they look like "Swiss Cheese" according to my doctor (isn't that nice bed side manners) 2 blood work, my cyst are popping and building liquid on the outer layer causing these toxins to pollute my pancreas and kidneys. (Just one of the many reasons I am in pain 24-7) and the 3rd they took a small camera inside to look closer at the ovaries and did a biopsy to see and I will be having surgery soon the date is not set yet but soon to have them removed. I have to go weekly for blood work and if my levels of something I don't understand and can't get my doctor to explain better drop then I will go in for emergency surgery. He said this happens to 1 out of 20 women with this. Though as we all know they don't know anything but I don't have many other options right now. I have now had 3 different doctors confirm... I guess I am just tired of the denial. Anyway, I am having both ovaries removed due to all of these complications on the 12th of Feb. unless my doctor gets blood work results back between now and then I will have emergency surgery. Thank you for your help and support I appreciate it.

Darcie Valdez




>From: QuickTopic daily digest
>To: darcvaldez@hotmail.com
>Subject: Women and Writing
>Date: 8 Nov 2003 05:08:49 -0000
>

  Is your computer infected with a virus? Find out with a FREE computer virus scan from McAfee. Take the FreeScan now! < replied-to message removed by QT >

Thank you for your support and feed back. I just thought I would give everyone an update. I went in for three test, 1 vaginal sonogram to look at my ovaries that showed they look like "Swiss Cheese" according to my doctor (isn't that nice bed side manners) 2 blood work, my cyst are popping and building liquid on the outer layer causing these toxins to pollute my pancreas and kidneys. (Just one of the many reasons I am in pain 24-7) and the 3rd they took a small camera inside to look closer at the ovaries and did a biopsy to see and I will be having surgery soon the date is not set yet but soon to have them removed. I have to go weekly for blood work and if my levels of something I don't understand and can't get my doctor to explain better drop then I will go in for emergency surgery. He said this happens to 1 out of 20 women with this. Though as we all know they don't know anything but I don't have many other options right now. I have now had 3 different doctors confirm... I guess I am just tired of the denial. Anyway, I am having both ovaries removed due to all of these complications on the 12th of Feb. unless my doctor gets blood work results back between now and then I will have emergency surgery. Thank you for your help and support I appreciate it.
 



Darcie Valdez




>From: QuickTopic daily digest
>To: darcvaldez@hotmail.com
>Subject: Women and Writing
>Date: 8 Nov 2003 05:08:49 -0000
>

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< replied-to message removed by QT >

Wow, that is a lot to deal with. With our emotions out of balance and a stressful home life makes work, and everything else so horrible. We really need people to understand and corporative specially parents. Sounds like you have been on a team by yourself at work and home. Well I know it isn't much comfort but I don't mind chatting to be a support when you need one. PCOS Sucks_Darcie
>From: QuickTopic daily digest

>To: darcvaldez@hotmail.com
>Subject: Women and Writing
>Date: 12 Nov 2003 05:13:30 -0000
>

  Concerned that messages may bounce because your Hotmail account is over limit? Get Hotmail Extra Storage! < replied-to message removed by QT >

I hate my husband. I came home after being gone for two days on a business trip, I am tired, it was stressful - he doesn't know jackshit about our daughter's homework that he was supposedely helping with, he lost her book she brought home from school that she is suposed to return, and when I question him about these things he says I am being a bitch. Sorry I just wanted to understand what the homework assignment was and where the book is - if he understood the homework assignment and knew where the book is, he should not have any problem. He then says sex with me is not a big deal.

My job sucks. I am an engineer who does the fucking budget and powerpoint presentations all the time. Fuck that. And my boss thinks I can read his stupid mind about his stupid presentation. Fuck him.

Fuck my marriage and my job. I hate them both.

I am in my mid thirties and having been dealing with this for awhile. This is directed to a few of the messages I read. Let's face it, treatment of PCOS is currently a hit or miss issue with doctors, because they only have parts of the puzzle figured out. PCOS is different for each women. There are a list of symptoms that doctors agree we all may have, and a list that we as suffers know we have that doctors just haven't gotten around to agreeing with us yet. Depression and axiety are one of the later ones and are usually are associated with your mood swings. And since we as PCOS sufferers know, have out of whack hormones that can affect us differently each month, doctors aren't getting that it isn't a permenant situation. I was diagnosed with depression at one time and was treated with an anti-depressant that literally had me so hyper I was bouncing off the walls, and while I felt great, that was not a solution. You just can't live on 2 hours sleep a night. I stayed on that medication for 3 months. When I came off of it, miraculously... I no longer was suffering from those symptoms. That doesn't mean I was cured, what it does mean is that since then I have noticed a 'cycle'. A pattern during my worst mood swings that 'sets' off the depression and anxiety episodes. My suggestion is if you are not suicidal in nature and can handle a short term depression, you should seek a milder form of assistance such as an over the counter herb named St. John's Wort. It is a natural mood elevator that won't give you the side effects of some of the more potent drugs. I would also reccomend in conjunction with that to take a B-complex vitamin.
Women who suffer on the one side of the spectrum who do not have a 'painful' period may be able to relieve minor symptoms using natural remedies. There is a web site with more information on that: http://pcos.freeservers.com/natural.html
For women who suffer an extremely 'painful' symptoms such as Darcie... I would suggest a look at the overall situation. Your pain is caused by cysts that doctors say are best treated with drugs. I don't believe that. There are several medical procedures that they do on a regular basis is the United Kingdom (England) that bring a great deal of relief to chronic sufferers. That information can be found at www.womens-health.co.uk/
I would suggest Laparoscopic ovarian diathermy to increase your sensitivity to the fertility drug clomiphene. The treatment of pain is and can be manageable, but alas it, like pcos, is totally individual. Don't give up hope. I have met women who suffer from PCOS who have tried for years, and succeeded in having children. You will too...

Depression does not help because the cyst will be more active with stress. There is a lot of information on the web for diet. Most of it comes down to a diabetic diet to control your blood sugars. Some doctors believe that PCOS is one cause for diabetes in women. Darcie Valdez
 





>From: QuickTopic daily digest
>To: darcvaldez@hotmail.com
>Subject: Women and Writing
>Date: 22 Oct 2003 04:09:52 -0000
>

  Express yourself with MSN Messenger 6.0 -- download now!
< replied-to message removed by QT >

In the past I have done both the Atkin's diet which was very unpleasant and the zone; I was wondering if anyone knows if I have to go on a strict Atkin's type diet to feel better, or if I can heal on a diet such as the Zone?

I am a 20 year old college student and I have just been diagnosed. I am currently taking med's for depression and wondering if anyone knows if this makes your pcos worse?
thanks

Hi Darcie.
This is a very real and painful situation. I have had it since I was 16. I am now 47. Please write to me.. and we can share... There are many Dr.'s who know so little.. but there are also very good ones... jusducky56@yahoo.com

I was hit with PCOS when I was 19; I have gone through a tone of treatments nothing helps. I am miserable and in chronic pain all of the time. I need someone to talk to who can be a friend who knows what it is like, and can relate. Who wont say it is all in my head. My last vaginal sonogram showed so many cysts that the doctors first thought they were twisted and needed to remove my ovaries. I have on average 7 cysts pop a week the affects it has had on my body is horrible. I have so much pain that I can't sleep, eat, or enjoy anything I use to. I suffer from almost all of the symptoms including 6 month long periods and then not having it for 5 months and it starts all over. I have gained 110lbs because of medication and this stupid thing that is destroying my life. My husbanded and I have tried to get preg. For 7 years and can't. We have tried so many different things that we are tired of trying now. We both want 2 boys, we may just adopt its always an option but we want them natural and now I just can’t be put through it any more. I have not slept in 2 days because I had 6 cysts pop in 2 hours. I get seizure like cramping in all of my muscles, migraines daily, my chest size grew 3 cups sizes, mood swings, depression, I don't enjoy anything like I use to, I exercise daily I can't lose the weight, I have tried the diets, I have tried starvation, and nothing works. I am tired all the time, I have dry mouth, pain all of the time and I can't take it any more. I get so sick with my cysts that I end up in the hospital 2 a year. I don’t have insurance right now (it doesn’t start up again until September) I need help. Every doctor I have gone to but one has been a fruitcake and the good doctor moved out of state. I get told stupid things like "you don't look sick," "it can't be that painful", "you can walk it off", "we don't know what is wrong” I am paying a 3,000 dollar bill to a hospital who drugged me when I had so many cyst pop at one time that I blacked out, I could not move with out tossing my cookies and could not move on my own. The only supportive person I have in my life is my husband everyone else things I am playing a "game" like I enjoy this or something. I can’t do this anymore. It hurts all the time; I have lost so much of myself to this that I just can’t do it anymore. I just can’t, I am sorry I am bitter. I love my life, my job is great and my husband is even better. I just can't take this physical pain anymore. I feel like my soul is being tortured like I did something and now I am being punished. I need help... anyone... please. Anyway, I guess that is enough from me, I am sure you have all heard it before… and I hate to whine… I hate begging for help… I hate feeling like this!

PCOS is a LIFE LONG Condition. You can't just get rid of it! I think you need to do some research. I HAVE PCOS and diagnosed myself before 3 doctors could. I did alot of research about PCOS when a friend of mine who also has this condition told me about her. I thought I was crazy! I realized after doing extensive research on PCOS which is now called Stein Leventhol (which is PCOS's origonal name).
I had to fight all the way through the chain of doctors in order to get the answers. The first doctor I went to claimed he had twin patients with pcos and knows about the condition and sent me for a "thyroid" test when I have already been told my thyroid was fine.
Here are some sites to read about pcos:
http://www.pcos.net/
http://www.pcosupport.org/
http://www.wdxcyber.com/dxinf001.htm

Has PCOS ever hurt before for any of yall?

I have had PCOS for about a year. I am going to go and get my bllod tested. Email me nicoleafyouni2003@hotmail.com

I was reading the Vagina Monologues, & it's amazing how people relate & refer to their vagina's. My sister, who is 20, can't bring herself to say the word. Vagina, pussy, cunt, all are like totally bad words for her. It's so weird!

i thought the web assignments were very well done, and extremely informative. They posed a lot of interesting questions.

I lived with this woman from Antigua; she had a four year old daughter who's name is Kyra. She coloured her barbie doll with a black marker.

A few summers ago I was in the Bronx. I walked down to a small market and bought a pack a cigaretts. On they way back I realized that I was the only white person around and every one was looking at me like I did not belong. People don't notice their own color until no one around them likes them. I try not to look at people like they do not belong.

TO WEI WEI: I ENJOYED READING YOUR POST. I KNOW THAT WE ARE SUPPOSD TO BE DONE POSTING BY NOW BUT I WANTED TO RESPOND. YOUR ENTRY MADE ME SIT, THINK, AND ANALYZE MY ACTIONS. AND THIS IS WHAT I CAME UP WITH: I'M PRETTY SURE THAT EVERYONE WOULD LABEL ME AS THE "CONSTANT ACTIVIST IN PURSUIT OF EQUALITY" AND THIS IS BECAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF MY RACE. THERE ARE DAYS WHERE I PRAY TO GOD THAT I COULD JUST GO THROUGH ONE DAY WITHOUT HAVING TO QUESTION, SECOND GUESS, OR EVEN THINK ABOUT RACE. BUT I BELIEVE THAT AS LONG AS I REMAIN BLACK THATT OPTION WILL NEVER OCCUR SO UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS NOT THE CASE. WHEN I WALK INTO A ROOM I AUTOMATICALLY SEE NO ONE THAT IDENTIFIES WITH ME PHYSICALLY AND THAT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'VE SPENT THE LAST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE BEING SUROOUNDED BY A MIXUTRE OF PEOPLE BLACK, WHITE, LATINA. SO COMING INTO AN ENVIROMENT WHERE NO ONE LOOKS LIKE YOU IS HARD FOR ME TO DEAL WITH. I AM PUT OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AT ALL TIMES WHILE I AM ON THIS CAMPUS... AND THAT IS TOUGH. MAYBE I JUST ATTRACT BIGOTS AND ASSHOLES BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT EVERYDAY IS A BATTLE FOR ME AT THIS SCHOOL. THE RUDE, HURTFUL COMMENTS, LOOKS, IGNORANCE, IS THROWN MY WAY ON A CONSISTANT BASIS. THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I CANT IGNORE. SO WHEN PEOPLE CONFRONT WHAT IS COMING THERE WAY, I DONT NECESSARILY THINK ITS OBESSING, I THINK ITS FIGHTING THE FIGHT FOR EVERYDAY LIFE, BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DEAL WITH WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT. ON A MORE PERSONAL NOTE (IF I OFFEND YOU I APOLOGIZE) THE FACT THAT YOU ADMITTED TO CONFORMING IN YOUR PAST MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY YOU "PLIGHT" AS A WOMAN OF COLOR, AND WHY IT HAS BEEN LESS DIFFICULT OR NOT AS CONSISTANT AS OTHER WOMEN OF COLOR. THE FACT THAT YOU HAD FRIENDSHIPS WITH WHITE PEOPLE AND FOUND WAYS TO REALTE TO THEM MAY BE ANOTHER REASON WHY.DO I MAKE SOMETHINGS HARDER FOR MYSELF BECAUSE I REFUSE TO CONFORM? YES, I KNOW THIS MUCH. BUT THAT IS THE UNDERLINING POUNT. I FEEL NO ONE, NO WOMEN, NO ASIAN, NO BLACK, NO WHATEVER SHOULD CONFORM.BECAUSE I SEE THAT AS THE MINORITIES HAVING TO GIVE IN IS GIVING UP A PIECE OF THEMSELVES. DO PEOPLE GET EXTREME WITH THE: REFUSAL TO CONFORM THING. SURE THEY DO. BUT I PERSONALLY WOULD RATHER BE EXTREME AND CONFORM AS LESS A POSSIBLE, BECAUSE JUST THE FACT THAT IT'S THE MINOTIRTES (NOT JUST RACE, BUT WIEGHT, HAIR COLOR, ETC) THAT HAVE TO CONFORM TO BE ACCPECTED PISSES ME OFF. SO TO END MY POINT I AM CONTENT TRYING TO OVERCOME THESE ISSUES AS LONG AS THEY CONTINUE TO BE THROWN MY WAY NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR BIG, BECAUSE I FEEL THAT REMAINING SILENT IS SOMETHING FAR WORSE...LATER...

A little thought on race: I remember being in elementary school and watching the Power Rangers with my friends. Somebody asked a question: who's your favorite power ranger. And all of us--about six White girls and me--said Kimberly the Pink Ranger. Now, this was before the age when we started thinking about the opposite sex, so it was natural that we all picked a girl, but the decided lack of favor for Trini, the Asian girl, was a prime example for the way that beauty, legitimacy, and desirability are homogenized in this country--especially when we're young. In my own personal memory, I can chart a distinctive period (probably from age 9 to 13) that I pretended I was White. It was easy enough--I had mostly White friends, I had crushes on White boys, there was almost nothing in my behavior that labeled me as non-White...except perhaps my over-eagerness to conform. The not choosing Trini as my favorite power ranger was just one of many ways I'd tried to persuade my White friends to overlook my race.
A lot of the race-related denial has gone down since then. I'm definitely qualified to say that I embrace my Asian-ness now. However, every once in a while (BLACKGIRLLOST's comments, for example), something comes up that makes me question again my own race-adequacy. See, I'm not sure what constitutes the ideal state of comfort with one's race. Is it being unaware of one's race until reminded--so that one thinks of oneself as just a person instead of a Black or White or Asian person, or is it being very aware of one's often-unjust minority racial status so that one is a constant activist in the fight against the inequality? I have to say that, for the most part, I am the former. Maybe it's because I don't see enough Asians in my everyday life to remind me of my race, or maybe it's because I haven't personally encountered an incident of overt racial discrimination in many years, but most of the time, as I go about my everyday events, I think myself to be just like everyone else. Occasionally, though, things do piss me off: having a White guy come up to me in a club, mutter some gibberish, and say: "that means 'you're a pretty girl' in Chinese," the lack of Asian representation in the media, men telling me that they "love Asian women" and expecting me to take that as a compliment. But still, I think the bottome line is that if I give in to these and become constantly racially-preoccupied, then I lose in the fight to live and grow each day as a full, nuanced, legitimate human being. Yes, the White majority of this country has it better in many ways than the minorities, and yes, I should, when the chance comes up, make it my duty as a minority woman to express my point of view and eradicate ignorace, but one thing I won't allow is for my whole identity to be tied up with my race. In a society where stereotypes and racial pigeon-holes already abound, I will not allow myself to be defeated by them in my over-obsession in trying to overcome them.

TO CHARLES: THANK YOU. WHY DO I THANK YOU? BECAUSE YOU COMMENTED ON WHAT I WROTE. THAT IS ALL I REALLY WANTED. I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE, AND YOUR RIGHT; APLOGIZING FOR RACISM WOULD BE RIDICOULS (sp), INADEQUATE, BUT HONESTLY NOT NEEDED. IT IS DIALOUGE THAT IS NEEDED. IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME SO WHAT, I DONT CARE, I LIKE TO HEAR DIFFERENT OPINIONS. AT LEAST THAT WAY I WOULD KNOW SOMEONE WAS THINKING.SO BY YOU ACKNOLWEDGING THAT THERE WAS/IS "A DISTINCT LACK OR RESPONSE" MADE ME FEEL ACKNOWLEGDED AND PLEASED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS AWARE AND THINKING ABOUT THINGS....:)

AND TO ANSWER JEN'S QUESTION: WHY DO PEOPLE ADDICTED TO DRUGS SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON A SUBSTANCE THAT WILL PROBABLY KILL THEM: BECAUSE THE'RE BODIES ARE CONDITIONED TO IT. THE SAME THING GOES FOR PEOPLE WHO DYE THEIR HAIR, RELAX IT, DIET, SMOKE EVEN.(ON A LESS DRASTIC SCALE) WHEN SOMETHING BECOMES A HABIT AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HONESTLY NEED IT, ITS HARD TO BREAK

I was rereading "fighting natural," and I found an interesting contradiction the author makes. She discusses throughout the entire essay that she is driven by blond ambition. She dying her hair is a way of hiding who she really is. But on page 236 she mentions how her clothes disguise her true self and that her hair color is a way to "come out as the low-class renegade" she thinks she really is. She also refers to her own dye job as tasteless. Why would some women spend so much money if it doesn't even make her feel better about herself?

I agree with Kim about the web assignments. I thought they were very well done and informative. I really learned a lot about various ways that women are portrayed on the internet. I can't believe some of the websites that are out there! Like the one by the Christian group advocating weight loss (with the lovely graphics), and the one about Russian brides. It really makes me think about how many sites are out there that totally degrade women and that exist to make women feel negatively about themselves. I think it's really sad that in every medium of communication, women have become the subject of exploitation and extreme criticism. It was, however, good to see some of the sites that did not focus on women's bodies, but rather were there for support or to bring women with similar interests together, like the site for women who hunted. At least we know that if we look hard enough there are some positive, empowering web sites out there. We just have to weed through all the crap to get to them.

i was just thinking about that way we feel that all good things must cost us something. Assuming beatuy is a good thing, then feel don't feel that we have earned it, that it is real and valueble unless we have gone through pain to find it. It is that way with tatoo culture- if you can't stand that pain then you don't deserve the decoration. In response to harmony i would say that some people do hate you if you have blue hair- upon the occasions that i have had blue hair random people from stangers on the street to that cheakout lady at the grocery have treated me like shit.
on another note there is a distinct lack of respones to BLACKGIRLLOST's post about race racism and relaxer. why is this? any ideas? i feel like white people (i.e. the majority of our class) just don't know how to respond. how can we respond except to be aware of racism in general and our personal racism (both blatant and subtle). a big gushy appology on behalf of white people seems both ridiculous and inadequate. any thoughts?
-charles

I agree with Kim. I really enjoyed the presentations of our web assignments. I think it was a great assignment. From what I gather, we all learned a lot-from our own projects and from each other. It was really interesting to see the topics people chose and the way they presented the material. This class has made me once again open my eyes to the world around me and the way in which women are presented everyday. I too thought that the website about young people and dieting (or something along those lines) posted by the church was absolutely unbelievable. That was one I wrote down to share with my friends. I mean, can you believe that?? Before, I commented on the "Fighting Natural" essay, but my favorite was "The Story of My Body." I really like the way she presented things by breaking them up into sections like skin, color, size, and looks. I think that each of us can relate to at least one of these categories. The essay opened my eyes to the way some people treat others. I thought that the store owner was so cruel. I think the last sentence of the essay goes to show what a woman she is. "My studies, later my writing, the respect of people who saw me as an individual person they cared about, these were the criteria for my sense os self-worth that I would concentrate on in my adult life." WOW

I’m going to steer in a bit of a different direction now. I and everyone else have been talking about the essays and noone has brought up anything about the web site presentations yet. I really enjoyed all of them very much. I walked out of class having learned quite a few things that I didn’t know before. I guess I never really realized how many things on the internet were directed towards women and their bodies. In fact having been in this class for the past six or seven weeks, reading all the stories, and doing the website reviews I have begun to open my eyes and it seems like women’s bodies are being presented everywhere. I’ll be sitting down watching a TV show and a derogatory comment will be made about a women and the way she looks. I’m noticing the way people are dressing, the billboard signs when I drive, all the commercials (there’s a yogurt commercial that shows a girls bathing suit (bikini) hanging up and she keeps passing it up until she feels she can wear it. They show her eating low-fat or fat-free yogurt. At the end she eventually puts it on showing that the yogurt helped her lose weight and she finally feels she looks good enough to wear it) Is there some rule that says how big or small you have to be to wear a bikini. I’ve just begun noticing many more things than I used to before having taken this class. I liked the website presentation that one of our classmates did that showed all the positive things rather than the negative things towards women and their bodies. Probably like the rest of you, I too could not believe that one web site (it was done by a church or some religious group). It was so wrong and unbelievable that you couldn’t help but see it as humorous. It was giving young kids pointers on how they should look to be popular, who does that? I had actually known nothing about the Russian Brides until the presentations. I couldn’t believe that. I found all the presentations to be very interesting and informative, it all seemed to go very well.

I've died my hair twice. I do it simply for something different, something new. Come to think of it, both times were during the winter. I guess it's sort of a solution to my winter blahs. I don't do it change my life. In fact, for a while, I startle myself every time I look in the mirror because I'm not even thinking about it. I've never had the obession with dying my hair exhibited in the Fighting Natural essay. Everyone has his/her own thing, something done just because, just for a change. Turning her hair into "wild straw" was something she started doing to change something much bigger about her self. I agree with Harmony in response to Charles. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't always find it so easy to simply take charge of life. There are definitely things that have affected my life from the time I was a child. Those things, although I try not to dwell on them, will continue to affect me for the rest of my life.

The thing that struck me about "The Story of My Body" was the section where she was talking about Ted. I think everyone must be able to relate to the heartbreak that comes from someone ditching you or backing out on a date with you. The fact that he did it entirely because of her ethnicity was just so much more hurtful. I think that was what really hit me when I read that particular essay.

Out of the two essays, I liked "The Story of my Body" better. I could relate to it more. Although my skin is not as dark as a hispanic woman, I do have darker skin. And, it has gotten noticed by people throughout my life. Working with children now, has reinforced this difference. I have been in a kindergarten class for 2 years now and we talk about ourselves in social studies. My students always ask me why my skin is darker than theirs.
When I meet an adult my grandparents age, they comment on my darker features and ask me what nationality I am. Some even go as far as saying I look "exotic", which is used in the essay.
My nationality is simply Italian, Russian, and Luthuanian. Then I tell them I'm jewish and it throws them even further off. This is the part of me that can be considered a minority. I don't feel I have been treated badly as a result of being jewish, but I would say people look at me differently.
I felt terrible when the manager of the supermarket scared Judith off and told her she was dirty. This is something that should never be said to an innocent child. My heart really went out to her when she said that no one would pick her in gym class and the teacher would even say "Alright, well someone's got to take her". I think everyone's been picked last at least once. This feeling of rejection can scar a person for a lifetime, especially when it's repeated as many times as it was.
Yet, the worst situation was when Ted asked her to go to the dance with him and his father said he wasn't allowed because she was hispanic. She described how much she liked this boy and was so excited to go out with him and then the father's pigheadedness ruined everything.
The story doesn't really end happy because Judith never really appreciates her body for what it is. She looks at herself as someone who's smart and intellectual instead of beautiful and unique.

I liked the 'story of my body.' I really appreciated the style in which it was written, how she broke up her different body parts into different sections. It made it a very easy read and I liked that. I also thought it was interesting as to the differences in countries and how they look at appearance. In one place in the world a certain thing is considered beautiful and somewhere else that is thought of as ugly. It just goes to show how truly insignificant outward beauty is. Overall, I thought that this was another good story in this book.

Charles' question about asking if anyone else dyes their hair to get them out of a funk put a lot of ideas into my head. I have to agree with that. Every time that I've dyed my hair it has been to change my perception and give me a boost -- the "new you" appeal I guess. But at the same time I don't agree with the rest of the post. It's often far too difficult to take charge of your life and to be comfortable with everything in it. A lot of things can seep below the surface and effect someone for the rest of their lives. "Fighting Natural" seemed to be just that -- a way to duck away from the barrage of reality and be someone else -- even if you're just the same person in a different wardrobe. I don't entirely agree with the ability of haircolor to change your life; just like any other physical aspect, people aren't going to love you or hate you just because your hair is blue. But I do think dying hair and wearing makeup and buying new clothes, or whatnot, is beneficial purely to yourself and your self esteem. I don't believe that it is to impress anyone else, even though it does tend to have that effect.

I liked "Fighting Natural" because I feel many women have a similar struggle to change a part of themselves. Some women exercise a lot and diet often to control their weight. Other women wear more makeup to change part of the look of their face. Some women get piercings or tatoos. And many other women change their hair color or style.
I think this is to make up for the control they are lacking somewhere else in their life. Maybe Lynne feels uncomfortable in her job setting or that her love life is incomplete. She doesn't really talk about that. But by dying her hair, she was making up for the lack of substance in another area of her life.
Also, many popular women are blondes. Many cartoon characters are blonde, which we discover very young. Many pop stars are blonde. And many other people in our media are blonde. This would lead brunettes and red heads to want to dye their hair. Lynne's hair was a darker blonde and she didn't feel it was light enough. This is based largely on what we see everywhere else.
Maybe eventually she can go gray and then the white that follows will be close enough to platinum that she can enjoy it.

The way the author divides each aspect of her body up in the Story of my Body is very effective, I agree. I feel like it makes her essay flow very smoothly and it really gives you a great overall impression of how her personality is. In dissecting each aspect such as color and size it emphasizes different ways we each could feel about our body as a whole. It shows how each part makes a difference and I don't think most of us think about it that way. In being a white woman I don't honestly have to think about how my skin color affects me, but to the author it has shaped a small portion of how she feels about society. I think a lot of people tend to dwell on that one thing that is making them feel so bad about themselves instead of focuing on the whole. To the people who are completely happy with themselves than I believe that they have reached a much different level in where they can be clear headed and worry about more important issues or at least issues other than physical appearance.

I also liked the of my body story. It sounded like she had a not so good childhood. I think it was neat how she divided up the essay into sections. I think that that made it easier to read and it also had more of an impact on the reader, as if pointing each of these things out. I think that this essay wasnt complaining or anything, it was just her life. how her skin was, how her color was, how her looks were. the funny thing is that she never talked that much about her, as in her personality or anything like that. once again she seemed concentrated on the physical things of the human body. it just makes me wonder why everyone is so worried about physical characterisitics presented to the world. I mean who cares if everyone liked you, who cares if 50 people like you, who cares if 15 people like you. as long as the people you are closest to like you then you are fine.

I liked the fighting natural story too. It just seems weird to me that someone could think that the way their hair is could change their whole life. What you are isnt in your hair color or anything like that. It just seems like this woman thinks that everything including her own personality changes with the way her hair is colored or the way she looks. I think that that is a sad way to live. I couldnt understand why she was so preoccupied with everyone looking at her. it almost seemed like a mental illness to a degree. Sometimes it just makes me wonder why someone would think that. I mean what is so wrong with yourself that you must constantly change it? I have never dyed my hair and i have never thought of dyeing my hair. I just dont worry about it. I dont really worry about the way i dress either. as long as it is warm and not too expensive. This type of trying to change yourself is new to me and i think it is kind of weird.

I agree with Allison's comments on hair dying. I've dyed my hair every color imaginable, and there are always amazing differences in the way you are treated in society, just based on the color of your hair -- natural or not. Some people might not realize it, but there are statistics out there about women with dyed hair and people's reactions to them... like most people are more open and friendly with blondes than with brunettes or redheads. I also wanted to bring up the point of how people define others by the shade of their hair... a woman with blonde or red hair is described by her hair color (IE: a blonde, a redhead) rather than by another aspect of her appearance (IE: tall, slender, etc) as a brunette might be. It seems to me to be yet another way in which women are generally unhappy with their appearance and the way in which others perceive them. Like Kim said, it's almost a form of makeup.

When some women feel down, what do they do? They do a make-over. How popular are those wonderful talk shows for doing those? I think that the woman from 'Fighting Natural' felt that by changing her hair color she was changing herself. It disturbs me a little because it makes me wonder if she feels like a new better person just by making her hair over. I do agree with Claire in that some of it quasi-narsicistic(prob. sp.) I think that it leads into her creating a new image for herself. A new clean slate to start on. Is that what women in general think when they put on their faces or do their hair. I am not saying that it is wrong, to each his own. However, i know several girls who will not leave the house without mascara. Do they feel so ugly without painting crap on their faces? What happens when you wake up the next morning and the make-up has smeared off? Are you less of a person, a level more ugly? I can understand the obsession by getting in a routine of doing it, but what happens if the routine gets interrupted? It just makes me sad to think that in some way a woman feels so much better about herself as a person by temporarily altering her appearance. Maybe that is what the author was contemplating as she addressed the young girls at the end.

Well, I have to admit, going to a salon and getting a new haircut is invigorating and fun. I've never dyed my hair though. I (**maybe**) get a haircut twice a year, simply because I can't afford it. Thank God my hair doesn't grow fast.

I loved the title of this essay - "Fighting Natural". I think it perfectly defines the major theme of the essay. It's funny - who would have thought that anyone could analyze the hair dying process? On one hand, I thought this essay was a little silly, namely when she was expressing how EXTREMELY conscious she was about her hair. It sounded slightly obsessive. But at least she's aware of that, I guess. On the other hand, she had some pretty good points about self image and how conscious some women are of what they are wearing, how people perceive them, and how pressured women can feel at young ages.

As for Judith Ortiz Cofer's essay, I really liked the style in which it was written. She seems to be a very talented writer. I liked the way she mantained a satirical tone throughout her essay (esp. when she was talking about her doll, Susie, saying how her fingers were clean enough to run them "through Susie's fine gold hair" when she finally got the doll). I also liked how she divided the essay into sections labeled "color", "size", "skin", and "looks".

A lot of her memories are heartbreaking, and I'm glad I got to read them. It's hard trying to understand what it may be like being a minority. It almost seems as though she triumphed in the end though. I guess I thought she sounded a little too bitter in the end when she was talking about how men desired her in college and called her "exotic". Isn't this acceptance what she was craving and trying to attain all along? I guess this goes to show that all that craving really isn't worth it in the end?

I agree that most women can relate to the story "Fighting the Natural." I guess I never realized it before, but the majority of women seem to highlight/dye their hair. I admit that I do it as well. I've been highlighting my hair since the seventh grade. Once you start you can't seem to stop. Kim brought up an interesting point...do we do it for other people or for ourselves? In a way I think it's kind of both. We do it for ourselves because other people like it and then it makes us feel good, like she said. Maybe it's a cruel cycle. Because if you don't do it, you've got these nasty looking roots! And no one likes that. But I guess it's just a part of the whole image-based society we live in.

Many people seen to like the "fighting natural" story very much. It is easy for many of us to connect with. I also liked it very much and was able to see where the author was coming from. Debbie said she thought hair dying "has to do with the fact that many women like to be noticed, and if we are only as daring as to dye our hair then that's what we'll do." I very much agree with that. Wether or not some of us realize that we are doing it for that reason or not, I think we are. After reading the essay I started thinking about when I dye/highlight my hair and how come? The conclusion I came to was that I like a change and I like others reactions. Every time I come back from the hair dressers someone always notices and it's always a positive compliment that I get from them. It makes a person feel good. My question is, am I dying my hair for me or for everyone else? I'm really not sure. If it's not for me then is that a bad thing? I guess in the end it kind of is for me no matter what, if I'm doing it cause I like it or because I like the compliments, which make me feel good. If I'm doing it (for the compliments) to make me feel good, it's still for me, isn't it? I don't know how all of this sounds but who doesn't like when they are told they are pretty? Everyone does, it makes people feel good about themselves and that can't be such a bad thing. Having a good self esteem is a positive thing not negative. I guess it's a matter of opinion wether it's all worth it or not, the pain from getting your hair done, the money it costs to buy makeup. Some think it is and some think it's not.

I can personally relate to "Fighting Natural." She spent a good chunk of the essay describing her desire to reinvent herself, first at the school dance, later by trying out for flagswingers and even when she moved out to California to reinvent herself as a California girl. I remember feeling that way many times while growing up. I was teased and made fun of a lot in elementary school and middle school, and a lot of the comments centered around my clothing and my hair. I remember getting haircuts or buying a new outfit hoping that maybe it would help me reinvent myself and convince the other kids I wasn't what they thought I was. I definitely feel that the ending line sums up what I used to feel (but have since gotten past for the most part) with each new "improvement" I always hoped that change would be the one to reinvent me.

I had mixed reactions to "Fighting Natural". I understand the painful transformation she was craving and the idea of torture. In psychology, she would have been diagnosed as having a mutilation disorder. Instead of cutting her arms, she mutilated her hair and scalp. I've let people dye and curl my hair as well as put makeup on my face and it does seem torturous to achieve a higher state of "beauty". If we work hard at something, we feel better. The more we sacrifice, the more we gain later. But different qualities are beautiful to different people. And I say whatever you decide to do to your body, if it makes you feel beautiful, do it. But if you decide that the sacrifices are not worth the results, then don't. People will still find you beautiful whether or not you dye your hair or anything else you can think of to augment your body.

I have to admit that of all of the chapters we have read up to this point, "fighting natural" was my least favorite. I think it was because it was written by an older woman, and I just could not relate at all because of that. however, after reading through everyone's postings, i thought about the point that kristen made about how we don't notice our flaws until someone else does it for us. a while ago in chat in class we were discussing how we couldnt believe that some people have the balls to make comments about weight to an overweight person's face. why do people think they have the right to judge another's physical appearance? everything is relative, and a matter of opinion for the most part anyways.

ITS ME AGAIN.... I'M SURE MANY OF YOU ARE THRILLED! OK I'LL STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE. ANYWAY, I HAVE A COMMENT ABOUT " THE STORY OF MY BODY" THIS PIECE WAS DEFINTELY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. MAN OH MAN... THIS ESSAY HIT HOME HARD. TALK ABOUT RELATING.... THE WRITER STARTS HER FIRST SENTENCE WITH- SKIN:" I WAS A BORN A WHITE GIRL IN PUERTO RICO, BUT BECAME A BROWN GIRL WHEN I MOVED TO THE UNITED STATES" I WILL NEVER HAVE THE LUXUARY OF WRITING THAT STATMENT( NOT THAT I WOULD WANT TO WRITE THAT STATEMENT.)DO ANY OF YOU ALL HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PRIVILIDGED YOU ARE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING AS MINISCULE AS YOUR COLOR? I'D LIKE ALL OF YOU TO REALLY SIT AND CONTEMPLATE THAT SENTENCE. YOU SEE, IF I WERE BORN IN PR I'D BE BLACK, IF I WERE BORN IN AFRICA I'D BE BLACK, AND IN THE US I AM UNDOUBTEDLY A BLACK GIRL LOST. THEN SHE MOVES TO COLOR: WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU ALL READ THE FIRST THREE SENTECNES UNDER COLOR? ARE YOUR THOUGHTS PEACEFUL, SERERNE, HAPPY, BLANK EVEN? MY THOGUHTS WENT BACK TO JAMES BRYD. JR. IN JASPER TEXAS WHO WAS TIED TO THE BACK OF A TRUCK AND DRAGGED, MR . DIALLO WHO WAS SHOT 27 TIMES BY RACIST COPS IN NEW YORK, AND ME WHO IS OFTEN CALL TOO SENSTIVE OR PREOCCUPIED WITH RACE; ARE THOUGHTS MY BRAIN TRANSMITTED WHEN I READ THE SENTENCE "IN THE HUAMN WORLD COLOR TRIGGERS MANY MORE COMPLEX AND OFTEN DEADLY REACTIONS." "COLOR IS A WAY TO ATTRACT AND SEDUCE A MATE" SHE WRITES. SAD BUT TRUE, GUESS MY PEOPLE ARE OUT OF LUCK HUH. BECAUSE AS SHE SO BODLY STATES THE COLOR TO BE IS WHITE. THAT IS THE WAY IT WAS WHEN SHE SHE WAS YOUNG AND NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY NOW AND HOW MUCH THINGS HAVE "CHANGED" THATS THE WAY IT IS TODAY, AND CALL ME A PESSIMIST ( I PREFER REALIST) THAT IS THE WAY IT WILL BE WHEN I HAVE A CHILD. SURE WE HAVE INTERACIAL DATING, MARRAIGES, FRIENDSHIPS ETC. BUT WHEN I GO INTO KROGERS AND GLANCE AT THE MAGAZINE RACK I SEE WHITE PEOPLE( WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE TOKEN LATINA AND BLACK WOMEN- JENNIFER LOPEZ AND HALLE BERRY)WHEN I GO UPTOWN I SEE BLACK MEN (NOT ALL) OGLING OVER WHITE WOMEN AND DISMISSING BLACK ONES ***DISCLIAMER!!!( I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT IS WRONG FOR A BLACK MEN TO LIKE WHITE WOMEN) (I AM SAYING THAT IT IS HURTFUL WHEN BLACK MEN PUT WHITE WOMEN ON A HIGHER PEDASTAL) YOU PROBABLY CAN'T IMAGINE THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE HEARD BLACK WOMEN SAY " I HOPE MY DAUGHTER DOESN'T TURN OUT DARK SKINNED." THE NUMBER OF TIMES A MAN HAS "COMPLIMENTED" ME ON BEING PRETTY FOR A DARK SKINNED GIRLS"AS IF IT WERE ABNORMAL FOR SOMEONE MY COLOR TO BE PRETTY. THE LIST CAN GO ON & ON. SO IF HER "THEORY" IS TRUE THAT COLOR HELPS ATTRACT A MATE THEN BLACK GIRLS ARE SHIT OUT OF LUCK IN AMERICA. LAST BUT NOT LEAST THERE IS "LOOKS" IN COLLGE SHE BECAME "EXOTIC-" AS SO DO MANY WOMEN OF COLOR. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS EXOTIC SUPPOSED TO MEAN? EVER NOTICE WHEN THERER ARE MODELS OF COLOR IN THE RUNWAY- SHE IS LABELED AS BEING EXOTIC.JUST AS SKIN COLOR AND APPEAREANCE ARE THE CONSTANT VARIABLES THAT I AM JUDGED BY SO IS JUDITH COFER. SO THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE THINKS I AM BEING TOO SENSITIVE, OR I HAVE RACE ISSUES, OR THAT I HAVE A CHIP ON MY SHOULDER; TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND LET THESE LAST FEW WORDS MARINATE IN YOUR MIND. WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT A WHITE WOMEN IS NOT HELD AS THE STANDARD OF BEAUTY, THE NEXT TIME ONE OF YOU WALKS INTO A STORE AND YOUR CALLED "DIRTY" THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE TOLD THAT BECAUSE OF YOUR COLOR IT MAY TRIGGER A DEADLY REACTION, THEN I WILL PUT ASIDE MY MILITANCY AND RACE ISSUES UNTIL THAT DAY COMES, I WILL BE A BLACK GIRL LOST- JUST SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT.:)

I could totally relate to the 'Fighting Natural' essay, I have never dyed my hair, but I do get electrolysis done on my eyebrows and it is the most painful experience. As I am sitting in the chair and the lady is poking me with a needle then heating it up I have to say to myself "pain is beauty" and grip the side of the chair tightly. I have no idea why I go through this painful process, yet I keep going back. I know it's because I feel as though I have to keep my eyebrows trimmed and looking good, but I also do not have to get electrolysis I just kind of like to and I am really not sure why. This story reminded me of my electrolysis experience and I could relate to it.

HMMMM WHERE SHOULD I BEGIN?? I LOVED BOTH OF THE ESSAYS BECAUSE NOT ONLY DID THEY MAKE ME REFELCT ABOUT PAST INSTANCES IN MY LIFE, BUT IT WAS REFRESHING TO SEE THAT OTHER PEOPLE GO THROUGH SIMILAR SITUATIONS. "FIGHTING NATURAL"- ALTHOUGH I WOULD NEVER DYE MY HAIR BLOND I COULD RELATE TO THIS ESSAY IN THE SENSE THAT EVERYONE WOMEN UNFORTUNATELY HAS A PARTICULAR HANG UP WITH THE WAY THEY LOOK. IT WAS AMUSING YET SAD AT THE SAME TIME THAT SHE WAS SO ADDICTED TO DYING HER HAIR NO MATTER HOW MUCH DAMAGE IT DID TO HER HEAD. I THINK IT IS SAFE TO SAY THAT MANY BLACK WOMEN GO THROUGH THE SAME TYPE OF SELF-TORTURE WHEN WE PUT RELAXER ON OUR HAIR TO MAKE IT STRAIGHT. IT CAN BE SO DAMAGING TO OUR HAIR THAT IT HAS BEEN NICK NAMED "CREAMY CRACK" 'IVE SAT IN THE BEAUTY SHOP FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS EVERY SIX WEEKS PUTTING THIS CHEMICAL IN MY HAIR THAT BURNS MY SCALP AND MY POCKET BOOK (LITERALLY) AND LEAVES SCABS IN MY HEAD JUST SO MY HAIR CAN BE :LONG, SLIKY STRAIGHT, MANAGABLE, BUT MOST OF ALL BEAUTIFUL." IN THE END ITS ALL ABOUT US WOMEN (BLACK, WHITE, LATINA, WHATEVER) BEING CONDITIONED TO THINK WE HAVE TO OR SHOULD FIT A CERTAIN MOLD OR LOOK A CERTAIN WAY TO BE ACCEPTED. I THINK KRISTEN BROUGHT UP A GREAT POINT WHEN SHE COMMENTED ABOUT HOW MANY OF US DO NOT NOTICE A FLAW UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE POINTS IT OUT. I SAT AND THOUGHT ABOUT HOW TRUE THAT STATEMENT WAS. IF NO ONE HAD EVER COMMENTED ON BLACK HAIR BEING "NAPPY" OR "UGLY" OR SAID THAT BLONDS HAVE MORE FUN OR THAT THIN= BEAUTIFUL I CAN PRETTY MUCH GAURUNTEE THAT THE NUMBER OF WOMEN DYEING RELAXIN, OR DIETING WOULD BE REMARKABLY LOW.

I can definitely relate to the hair-dying experience in "Fighting Natural." I hate the process of getting it done, and I hate the hair-pulling and poking, it hurts like hell! Yet each time I do it I think it's worth it for the transformation. I always feel different when I get a drastic change in color, I always feel like I look like a different person and that somehow this color makes me look the best. I don't know if other women feel the same when they change their hair color, or something else about themself for that matter, but I suspect at least a few do. I think it has to do with the fact that many women like to be noticed, and if we are only as daring as to dye our hair then that's what we'll do. I don't think anyone is born with an awful hair color, I just think that by dying our hair we feel like we're bringing ourself one step closer to looking better, and we usually associate "better" with looking like someone else.

does anyone else dye thier hair to help snap them out of a funk. I'm lucky in that i have very short hair so if it looks like hell i can just shave it off.
Also, i guess i don't have a lot of sympathy for this woman's whineing about her self conciousness- i think that as a mature concious adult you really can just say Fuck It and CHOOSE to be comfortable in yourself. people choose what opinions to have all the time for stupid reasons so why not good ones? I think it is posible for everyone to get over thier highschool trauma by simply realizing that all that shit from a bunch of obnoxious children doesn't have to have any impact on your life anymore. People can bullheadedly plow forward into stupid harmfull things that they know are bad so why can't they be a little stubborn trying to make themselves happy.

I agree with Wei wei. most women clearly have a some sort of thing or ritual that they feel makes them more acceptable for themselves and others. it is funny and some times scarey the lenghts we will go to for a beauty ritual with out even considering the danger it may incur. An artist, Janine Antoni, had a performance piece in which she drench her hair in hair dye then mopped the floor of the gallery with her hair. It was called Loving Care, that was the name of the dye she used and the same dye her mother had been using since she could remember.
I found something else interesting that has come up in several of the essays. The authors often write about not being aware of a physical flaw until it is brought to their attention. That raises interesting questions of personal perception and how much of what we thing we know and feel is really the result of other peoples influences.

No school tomorrow, everyone!
Anyways, "Fighting Natural" is very evocative, I thought. It got me thinking that we women have such an intense--almost fetish-like--relationship with clothes, accessories, makeup, and anything else that can help us concoct an certain appearance and thus project a certain image to the world. I think that women are naturally more iconic than men--legend is that we can instigate events just by looking a certain way--be the face that launched a thousand ships without so much as saying a word. This goes hand-in-hand with the myth that women are innately more passive than men and thus more easily objectified, I think. Anyways, I can definitely relate to Lynne Taetzsch's hair color fetish. I have a friend who's like her, and another friend who manipulates her image with different perfumes. I personally have a shoe fetish.

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