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| Deborah Brown
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08-13-2005 12:36 PM ET (US)
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| Ian
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02-18-2003 09:22 PM ET (US)
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Yea I don't know the real story. She told it in the middle of our Japanese class (a little strange) and so I couldn't exactly ask for clarification. It was an awkward moment for everyone in the class. But she's a really neat lady, and I'm glad the 10th one worked out for her ^^;
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| yuka
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02-18-2003 09:59 AM ET (US)
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I misunderstood..
Anyway,it's her tenacity of omiai more than anything else that contributed to their marriage. Maybe,she had so lofty ideal of man that matchmaker was vexed.
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| yuka
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5
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02-18-2003 01:41 AM ET (US)
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Impossible.. That amounts to an offense.--;
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| Ian
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02-17-2003 10:12 PM ET (US)
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One of my Japanese teachers (now in her late 50's and married) had to go on ten of those dates (gokon or omiai, yea not sure, I think they kind of merged as omiai is kind of obsolete), because she kept getting turned down for second dates :(. Poor thing. The 10th guy liked her and they got married.
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| yuka
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02-17-2003 11:53 AM ET (US)
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Omiai? I haven't been on it but "gokon",which is more casual than omiai for a few times. I regarded omiai as the traditional date for marriage,or the meeting for a person who isn't a favorite with women/men. But,recently these seem to be almost same.
I read the similar topic on "Metropolis".I'm surprised that romance is becoming big business in Japan. Now,as you know,people seem to be eager to have a place of rest and relaxation,home.
Gokon may be a reasonable and useful way to find a partner or a soul mate of the temporary relation for a person having no time to get it.But it is somewhat unnatural to me.
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| Ian
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02-16-2003 04:53 AM ET (US)
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I was talking about this today with two friends (both Japanese women in their late 20's). I think the opinion of cheating really depends on generation.
You can assess a relationship in two ways. In America we tend to assess in terms of the present, like "what am I feeling now?" But in the older generation in Japan maybe there's more of a tendency to look at things along a continuum, over a long perspective. The idea is that relationships are a process that occur over a long period of time, so cheating in the short term can be forgiven or ignored because this instant is not the only thing that matters. These are both generalizations, but I think there's a ring of truth there as well.
But I think maybe this attitude is changing, I think most young people today won't put up with shit. Like Yuka, how many omiai dates have you been on ;)? People are marrying more for love now.
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| yuka
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02-15-2003 02:10 AM ET (US)
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cheating..this topis is interesting.
Junichi Ishida,a Japanese actor confidently said ,
"Cheating is our culture!" And then,he lost his family.
Chikage Ogi,the Construction Minister, commented on cheating of her husband, a Kabuki's actor who plays female roles(a living national treasure). "He cheats on me to develope his talent.It isn't unusual to Kabuki actors."
But she didn't justify in her son's cheating for the difference of their careers.
Some Japanese women say that they can't forgive mental(heart) cheating but sex with other women.
I think of it as a wicked habit or an incurable disease.
Are they really intelligent people?
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