There is no way to rescue the dog, it would die of shock during the journey. (Don't glue the dog to your back; it will turn around and maul you.) Forget about the dog, and forget about the soup. Lubricating the pole will only make you slide down the pole faster, and shatter every bone in your body when you reach the bottom.

What you really need is friction. Fortunately, you have a mile of rope. You can't hold onto a mile of rope, so you will need to glue one end to the top of the pole.

Wrap the rope around yourself and tie a knot under your armpits, then wrap the rope eight or nine times around yourself and the pole for support. Now, holding either side of the rope and gripping the pole with your legs, inch your way down. It can be done if you are physically fit. People climb mountains all the time, pulling themselves up and down all the way.

Whenever the rope gets worn threadbare, simply wrap some fresh rope around yourself and throw the worn rope away toward the ground.

When you get halfway down, the glue should be weak from supporting your weight all day. Give it a tug, and the end comes loose. Now glue that end midway down the pole.

Continue inching until you reach the bottom.