I have to agree, it's not a disorder to want to avoid masses of strangers partying in your house. I attended & threw some pretty crazy parties in college, & now I'd avoid parties like that in my own house. I'd also fear things getting broken, things getting stolen, things getting flooded or burned down, people vomiting or pissing or shitting in inappropriate places. That's not anxiety, that's...common sense.

Welcome to the land of thirtysomething, where we don't actually crave drinking until we hurl & drunkenly setting fire to the carpets in strangers' houses.

I 100% agree with Jamie. Sounds like your housemates are the ones that could use some medication, to give them some self-respect and consideration for other people. Rather than spend your money on Prozac and therapy, maybe you could save up and get your own apartment?

A good book in the cognitive therapy area is "Feeling Good" by David Burns -- I found it a huge help.

Umm...I don't think you have an anxiety disorder - I think you may have accidentally (meaning, without your knowledge) become a grown-up. Good for you.

i'm actually having similar anxiety problems as you, bonnie--they started around the time i went back to school (hmmm, i see a similarity in our lives). i think a lot of it has to do with the changes in our lives, not that it's bad change, it's just we have to adjust.

i'm looking into reflexology as a treatment (i learned about it from my cousin who is a practitioner in Holland. it's very big in europe...here is a link http://www.reflexology.org/aor/refinfo/healart.htm)

If you have an anxiety disorder, an increasingly popular alternative to meds is cognitive therapy. It is simple in principal and an effective means of controlling those nasty catastrophic thoughts. A lot of therapists use it and there are also books you can take a look at if you ar interested.

Thanks for the words of support. I'm having fun just me and the pup in Santa Cruz. I've been listening at all of Rob's records, reading a ton, doing homework and freelance stuff, playing with the dog, etc.

So far, the only thing exciting I've heard happen at the party was that someone projectile vomited (or shat) in the living room at around 7am. Good times. Oh and the DJ didn't show, neither did the van driver or security. Who knows what's up for sure...all I can say was that I'm glad I wussed out and decided to take the dog for a little quiet time somewhere else for the weekend.

we'll see about the meds. After reading that article that Gayla posted, I'm not too sure if meds would be a smart move just to stop my anxiety. Maybe I should seriously look into yoga afterall.

The times in my life when I worried to much, I look back now and realize they where times when I had too much time on my hands.

you also will not have to be there to clean up after three days of partying... make sure to protect the succulents. its not odd to not want to party that hard in your house...that is what vegas is for. :-) your puppy will probably be happier too.

I agree with all three of you. You rule.

Bonnie, don't let anyone make you feel nuts just because you've evolved past the 9th grade. Sitting through a bad, 72-hour high-school-fantasy-"get-drunk-n-hurl"-movie sounds like a pretty non-creative idea to me. Not quite the environment for you, I'd think.

Gayla is so incredibly right -- don't head for the Rx just yet. Advertisers are slinging pills purely for profit; creating a need in consumers' questioning minds is the evil side of advertising.

So you worry. Who's it gonna hurt? The older you get, the more you know. Maybe it's a little more common sense, knowledge and experience than worry. This type of common sense tends to separate the thinkers from the Coors Light Swedish Ski-Team.

Not to forget, seems you've been through a lot of changes lately, so your mental equilibrium could use a break. I hope you take one and have fun! And before you leave, hang some signs saying "You asha my plant, I breaka you face." Haha!

Long post, but hey, what am I to do. I worry. ;)

I've hated parties ever since high school. I'd much rather spend a nice evening with one or two friends eating, talking, listening to some interesting music in the background, and perhaps enjoying a spiffy cocktail. A three-day bacchanalia sounds like my idea of hell.

As for your tendency to go for the worst-case scenario, Bonnie, we used to call people like that "worry worts", not psychologically disturbed individuals in need of meds. As Gayla sez, explore some other options first like meditation or other relaxation techniques.

Edited by author 09-27-2002 02:39 AM
Bonnie you are very normal and dare I say "healthy" to be disinterested in a three day *party*. I totally agree with what John says. If you're not into it there is nothing wrong with doing what you feel is best for you and getting the hell away.

Take it from someone who IS the party pooper (I don't drink, smoke or do drugs anymore. And most importantly I don't take shit from anyone). Anyone who is going to get bent out of shape about you over this isn't worth it. Fuck em. You can have fun without all that and frankly what the hell is the point in hurting yourself in the name of entertainment?

The excessive worrying certainly isn't good for you, but don't jump too quickly for the drugs. There are too many damn commercials on television right now teling everyone they have some kind of anxiety disorder that needs fixing with a few pills. Lots of things including diet can effect your brain chemistry in a myriad of ways. Or perhaps the anxiety is your mind trying to tell you something? or alternatively trying to avoid something...

Oh and your post reminded me of this article from a past issue of adbusters regarding selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (Zoloft and friends) http://prozacspotlight.org/lilly/index.html

I don’t know about you, Bonnie, but I am so over Fun(tm). How did we ever get to the point where joy is defined by how much your life resembles the shenanigans in a beer commercial?

A three day festival for a going away party?! If I ever go abroad for four months, I'd hope instead that a small group of my friends would take me out for a latte, tell me how much they love and will miss me, and each give me a hug before dropping me off at the airport. I'd remember and cherish that experience for a lifetime. Three days of drunken Fun(tm) would outwear its welcome after the first morning's hangover.

so am I crazy or just a killjoy?