American soccer mom: "Oh no! God forbid our kids masturbate! Now, as we all know, Jesus will cry, their brains explode, and they'll grow hair on their palms!".

If there's one thing I have absolutely *no* respect for in this world, it's American fear of sexuality. That phenomenon needs to be purged from the face of the planet. To those concerned: Catch up with the rest of the western world, will ya?