dong_resin
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06-01-2002 08:21 PM ET (US)
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Edited by author 06-02-2002 06:04 AM
Quite possibly the most unhelpful thing people inevitably will say in times like this is :
"all of this will pass".
What is important to remember here, is that none of this will pass.
All of these events will haunt you for years, turning what might have been a happy, productive future into complete misery.
It's obvious that you're going to die alone, broke and unheralded, and probably in a really unlucky way too, like a great white shark attack on a hockey rink, or something. The sort of death that would normally make the papers, but somehow, in your case, won't.
On the bright side, they seem to be going ahead with that 4th Indiana Jones movie.
Hey, at least you're pretty.
Well, y'know, until the shark or whatever.
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| Brittney
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06-02-2002 05:44 PM ET (US)
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Is Hairy Harrison Ford gonna star? Surely they've got the technology to blend in his liver spots, but can they CGI his heart attack when he croaks trying to run from a boulder?
And let me guess, they'll likely have some nubile actress, fresh out of diapers, as his romantic interest. Kirsten Dunst in a rain-soaked safari shirt, nipples blazing, will giggle and clap her way to a Best Actress award due to everyone's misguided nostalgia for these mediocre films.
They should get Ben Affleck to do it.
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