Fairies? Scots Fey-Line Antidefamation League requests usage of the more polite term Fey-Persons or Fey-Britons.

You have a worm on your wifi rock; click here to download Pet Rock Security Software.

Glow-worms Crossbred with the Pigs from Whose Ears we Make Silk Purses, Result is Pigs that Glow in the Dark. Attempt to make Fish that Do Not Need to Be Deboned: Cod crossbred with Jellyfish, Result: Jellyfish with Bones. Elephant Crossed with Peanut, Results: Elephant that Sticks to the Roof of your Mouth, and Peanut Butter that Never Forgets.

Radiocarbon dating of Plank confirms Pirate Involvement in Brittany Murder. Assuming proper value of Planck's Constant. AAAaaaarrr....

For purposes of calculation of import duty on goods being brought into Greece from outside the EU, edible snails are classified as Spiral of Archimedes Demonstration Units; in Italy, they are Fibonacci Spiral Beta Test Devices.

Please hereafter refer to George W. Bush as Unitary Executive for Life, Emperor of North America, Afghanistan, Iraq, and all regions subject to the Preemptive Bush Doctrine, including the Moon, Mars, and all Undisclosed Locations. And could you cut down on slurring your words on thise 3 a.m. phonecalls, please?