In the introduction of "The Way We were" Stephanie Cootz makes an intersting point. "Pessimists argue that the family is collapsing; optimists counter that it is merely diversifying. Too often, both camps begin with an ahistorical, static notion of what 'the' family was like before the contemporary period " (p. 1). I believe this to be true. How can we analyze the effectiveness, or ineffectiveness of our family by a standard that never really existed? We must first consider the notion that the 'traditional' American family was and remains an ideal. To measure our success by an ideal is, in this case of the American family, and many others, erroneous. If America is theoretically unique and progressive in its diversity, then judgement by one, invalid, single standard is logically, nonrepresentative. What is successful in my family as an African American female can be totally and radically different than what is succesful in yours, as a white male. Herein lies the controversy: Family functionality is a relative concept - and one standard, 'ahistorical' ideal denies this relativity.