What a bizarre freak.

Cohen didn't even finish reading the first sentence of the 13th Amendment, which prohibits "slavery or involuntary servitude, except as punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted." The second phrase describes him perfectly, and I'm sure the court will allow him to keep enough of his income to permit him to squeeze the Charmin.

I remember seeing a news report about his 'empire'. Perfect karmic result.